Friday, January 21, 2011

Strength...?

What does it mean to be strong?

Does it mean that you don't give up on a situation, no matter how difficult or disagreeable it is, because you are going to finish what you've started?

Or does it mean that you refuse to do something that you don't agree with, even if it means giving up on something that you started when you're only halfway done?

And how do you know if you're strong when sometimes being strong can feel like being weak? When you feel like you're being strong because you're finishing something you started, but in reality you question if you're weak for not standing up for something you believe in just so you can finish what you've started.

I used to feel strong. I felt like I knew what I was doing and that I was doing the right thing by following my heart and where God is leading me. But now, I don't know. Did God put me here to teach me how to be strong by pushing through and finishing what I've started no matter how big the struggles are (and maybe teaching me a little something about faith in the process)? Or did God put me here to teach me how to be strong by standing up for what I truly believe in and saying "enough" to things that I know aren't right? I don't know anymore. I'm confused and I'm torn and I don't know what strong even means at this point.

How can I have strength when I feel so exhausted from trying to figure out what strength even is...?
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