Back at it

Hello.

Remember when I used to blog all the time?  Yeah...me too.

Things have been very chaotic around here, which I'll get to, but it almost felt like there wasn't anything to blog about even though there has been so much going on.  I don't know, I guess because I feel like this is all becoming a normal part of our life as an Army family, it wasn't interesting enough to actually write about.  But after seeing a dear friend of mine pick back up on her blogging, and how maybe if I do the same I'll be able to stick to some things that I need to work on the way she is.  So thanks, Katie, for inspiring me to get back to blogging and back to refocusing on my lifestyle goals!

Alright, so let's update!
May: My best friend Krista moved in with me so I wasn't completely alone while H was gone.  It was good to have her there, and to know that when I was having a lonely day that she was there to help me get through it.  We celebrated my 26th birthday (26! I'm officially closer to 30 than 20...gross) and our best friend Abbie's 21st.  H also got a 36-hour pass at the end of the month, so we got to Facetime and actually see each other for the first time since he left.

June:  I finished out the school year at the Montessori school, which was exciting but very, very sad.  It meant that I was that much closer to being reunited with H but saying goodbye to the kids and the staff that I had grown so close to was extremely hard for me.  June also held a visit from my brother, a friend's wedding, and 2 solid weeks of shenanigans with my besties before having to move out of BG.

July: July 1st I moved out of BG for the first time in 7 years, which was truly the end of an era.  But moving back to my parents' house was going to be good, financially and emotionally, before I had to move to whatever base the Army would be sending us.  Mid-way through July was H's OSUT graduation, too!  My parents and I took a week-long trip to Ft. Benning, GA to watch H graduate and get his infantryman cord.  I could not have been more proud of him!  Georgia was beautiful, and I even had a chance to stop by my sorority's headquarters and get a  private, after-hours tour of the building.  July also gave me one last chance to head back to BG to spend a night out on the town with my best friends.  And of course, July was the Olympics, which Krista and I made sure to celebrate appropriately (aka wearing our goggles and gold medals while cheering on Team USA together!)

July also brought a major change in our plans.  Due to some ridiculously complicated Army mumbo-jumbo (for lack of an easier/better way to explain it haha) H's contract got changed at the last minute.  For him, this meant taking a detour from his original plan/dream and for me, it meant having the opportunity to move to a base with H a lot sooner than anticipated.  While I was sad that H's plans had to take this detour, it was hard not to be just a little happy to be reunited with H sooner than we'd originally though, especially after spending the past 5 months apart.

August:  August brought "the move," which meant that it also brought a wonderful going away party where I got to see old and far-away friends before moving to our newest destination - Fort Drum, New York.  Don't know where that is?  Get a map of New York.  Next, locate Syracuse.  Okay, now go straight north of Syracuse and put your finger on the Canadian border.  Got it?  Depending on the size of your map, your finger may already be covering Fort Drum.  Yes, that's just how north we really are.  But it's beautiful here, and living on post has been great so far.  Check back with me in about a month when it starts snowing and I may have a different answer for you... :)

So now we're into September, and things have settled down a bit.  H's battalion has been out of state doing some training, but because they left around the time that I moved up here, he didn't have to go because he was on leave.  While he's waiting for them to get back, he's been training for his Expert Infantryman Badge and keeping busy on Rear Detachment (hehehe that makes me giggle every time I say it!), but I think he's ready to have his battalion and his friends back soon.  I've been keeping busy setting up our new house, getting involved on post through church, and taking care of our new furbaby, Riley.  I've also started working a part-time job in retail, but praying daily for God to open up a teaching position for me.  I have a second interview at a preschool on Tuesday morning, so hopefully this is the door that God is opening for me!

Faith has been extremely important through all of this.  Faith that God would help us get through the separation, faith for what was going on with H's contract, faith while waiting for housing to open up in a timely matter for us (we only had to wait 1 week after I moved here before our house was ready--praise God!), faith that I would find a job, faith that he would help us find a perfect home church up here, and so much more!  He has truly taken care of us in so many ways and provided for us when things were tight and scary.  He is so good, and we continue to look to Him for strength, guidance, and help as we are adjusting to our new life.

With a new home, a new location, and a new plan for our lives comes a need for a new (or I guess renewed) drive for getting back to my healthy lifestyle again.  I'm an emotional eater, and that's nothing new.  So while H was gone and I had a lot of emotion running around, it was really hard to stay focused on eating well and working out, which lead to a jump in my weight that I'm not happy about or proud of.  I mean, it's nothing major but it's enough that I notice it and don't like it.  Now that we're settled, I'm hoping we can get refocused on being back to pretty strict Paleo and getting back into the gym at least 4-5 times a week.  It's what we both need and I have got to stop feeling so down on myself all the time about my looks and weight.  So hopefully by being back into the blogging world, I can keep better track of my goals and where I'm at in reaching them.  I won't give up, because I know how much I need this right now.

So that's our life.  Over the past 4 months, I've lived in 4 different places (if you include living at the hotel while we waited for our house to open up), I've reunited with H, we've adopted a kitten, and I've started a new job with the prospects of getting back into the classroom.  I've learned to trust God for so much and be patient for His timing.  And I've officially stepped into the role of Army wife.

I couldn't love life more right now!

Back to "normal"

It's really strange to go back to "normal" now that H is gone.  It's like I feel like so much has changed because of H leaving that it seems weird to try and go back to normal--how can things be normal when the most "normal" part of my world and my routine is gone?  Side note:  H is probably the furthest from "normal" I've ever met, but our abnormalness together creates our own version of normalcy.  Yeah, we're strange like that...

Going back to work today was nice.  It got me out of the house for the day, which is good because it means I'm not sitting around stewing in my own thoughts.  It was also really great to get back because I missed my coworkers and my kiddos a lot.  You don't realize how much joy these kids bring you until you need some cheering up--a 3-year-olds hug never fails to put a smile on my face!  But it was so strange to go back to work and go back to my normal routine when I still feel like everything has changed.

In reality, life is pretty much the same, minus the fact that my other half is a 16-hour drive away getting yelled at by drill sergeants.  Work is still work, my daily routine is still pretty much the same (minus seeing H, adding the gym), and my attitude about life in general hasn't changed (although  my faith and relationship with God is becoming stronger, which generally makes life a little better).  But some part of me feels strange trying to go back to normal without him here....

Weird.
xoxo, M

Excited for him, sad for me

It all seems very surreal that he's actually gone.  I don't know what's harder--the build-up to dropping him off at the recruiters, or being alone now that he's gone.  I'm still waiting for him to come walking through the door, or come out of the computer room, and nothing will have changed.  But some part of me knows that won't happen; some part of me knows that this is really happening and that our life in the Army has finally, actually begun.

I'm sad.  At least, I guess that's what I'm feeling.  Sometimes I think "sad" doesn't accurately describe it, but that's the closest I can come to finding the right word.  It feels like part of my heart is missing, which I suppose it is--it's located down in Georgia.  The house feels a lot bigger now that he's not here with me, and what's left of my heart feels heavy. 

At the same time, I am beyond excited for him.  This is his dream job; it's what he's wanted to do since he was little and he's spent his life learning about it, talking to soldiers, and preparing for this new adventure of ours.  That's how we're looking at it--as an "adventure" instead of "a period of separation."  I truly believe he was meant to be a soldier, and that his heart and his mind are in the right place for this, so how could I not be excited for him?  I'm so unbelievably proud of him and I can't wait to hear the stories in his letters of what he's going through and experiencing because I know that this is exactly what he wants to do and where he wants to be.  I'm so excited for him, even if I'm sad for me.

I won't let my sadness overpower me, or shadow my excitement for him.  I have a nice, long list of things I want to do while he's gone (which may or may not include purging his closet of certain clothes...), and I have some of the most supportive and loving friends and family to keep me busy.  It'll be nice to get back to work tomorrow and get back into the routine of things, too, although I am glad I took a couple days off to settle into things around here.  I have good books to read, craft projects to work on, a lizard cage to finish building, adventures to go on with my girlfriends, and an entire summer to spend with my family before PCS orders come in.  I know that I'm going to get through this and come out the other side with a smile on my face, so much love for my husband in my heart, and about 40 pounds missing from my body (oh yeah, I've got some weight loss plans for this time apart!)

I don't know what he's doing today; probably in-processing stuff at reception, maybe getting his uniform and a nice haircut/shave, and making new friends with his drill sergeants! ;)  But I know that he could use prayers for strength, endurance, and success while he's going through all of his training, so feel free to send some his way.  And I'm so thankful for all the support and love that our friends and family have shown us the past few days---I can't imagine trying to go through this without all of that love and support!

I am so proud of my husband, for his choices for our families future, and for his passion to serve and protect his country, and I am unbelievably excited  to see him succeed in this new adventure of ours!