When I was little, I can remember my Grammy sitting me on her lap and singing a song about friendship to me. She would smile as she sang, and it always made me feel so secure that the message of the song was true to life:
Make new friends
But keep the old;
One is silver
And the other, gold.
I always thought the words of the song were more about knowing that just because I meet new people doesn't mean that I should throw old friendships away. But as I grow older, I realize that maybe this isn't the the actual purpose of the song; maybe it's more about the quality of friendships, both old and new.
For 26 years, I lived within a 150-mile radius of my hometown. And for the first 21 of those years, I lived at my parents' house in my hometown. Same family, same friends, same scenery for 21 years. Yes, within those years friendships changed; the girl who was my best friend in kindergarten was not necessarily my best friend come senior year. But the girl who was my best friend all the way through elementary school and middle school was still a dear friend to me by the time graduation rolled around (probably based on our deep-rooted love of Barbies, Lisa Frank stickers, and boys who played the drums). Once I went away to college, I made new friends but still kept in touch (and to an extent, still continue to) with many of my closest friends from high school.
They say that the friends you make in college are the friends who stick around for life. I hope that's true. My sorority sisters, my classmates through my undergrad program - those are the ones that I hope stick around for the long haul. They know me, not as the little girl who played on the swingset and constantly changed my mind between loving Spice Girls or Mariah Carey more, but as the woman who took on leadership roles, who has a passion for teaching, and who gets a little silly when cranberry-vodka's are involved.
Two years ago, we moved 450 miles away from our hometowns and 600 miles away from the college town we'd called home for 6 years. No college friends, no high school friends. No one that I knew at all. And so the adventure of making new friends began while somehow trying to balance keeping the old from so far away.
Unfortunately, as I'm finding, making new friends who are as good as the silver from the song is tougher than expected. Being an Army wife, I find that the circles of people that I'm associating with are typically the wives of H's soldier buddies. They aren't necessarily people that I "click" with as easily or automatically as I would outside of the "forced" friendships that the Army lifestyle sets up, but that doesn't make them bad people or bad friendships. They are the silver the song speaks of, friendships that are good to have even if they aren't the same depth or strength as those gold ones created during high school and college. (Disclaimer: I have made some absolutely "golden" friendships up here, as well, and I don't want any of this post to make those wonderful ladies feel anything less than the gold that they are. They know who they are, especially my #2)
Without these silver friendships, the ones that are important but aren't necessarily the long-lasting ones that will pass the test of time, would I be able to value the gold friendships as much?
The friendships that started when we were just infants, grown through the deep and lasting golden friendships of our parents.
The friendships of those started in middle and high school, who I know care despite the fact that we may only chat once every few months.
The friendships of my sorority sisters, who know me better than most people, and who appreciates a random text message knowing exactly what I need, even if all it says "if you're a bird..."
The friendships made in college thanks to mutual friends, who normally may not have started for one reason or another, but who I cherish more than anything because of how they have grown and deepened thanks to God, shared life experiences, and/or the military lifestyle.
Those are the golden friendships, the ones who have depth and meaning that I can appreciate so much more thanks to the silver friendships. And the silver friendships I can appreciate and cherish because those are the friendships that are current and what I need right now, and have the potential to turn into golden friendships as our lives mature and change.
Is one better than the other? I wouldn't say "better" but from my experiences the golden friendships tend to have more meaning at this stage of my life; however, both the gold and silver, new and old friendships are equally important to me, and each friendship individually has its own meaning and importance in my life.
To my golden friendships, I could never fully put into words what your friendship and impact in my life has been and continues to mean to me. I cherish our friendship, even if it's just a text or chat message once in a while to check in, a "thinking of you" card in the mail, or a coffee date over the phone. You mean the world to me, and I hope that our friendships continue to last a lifetime!
And to my silver friendships, I am so thankful for God bringing you into my life recently. Your friendship means so much to me, even if it's not as old or as time-tested as the golden friendships from earlier in my life, and I love the memories we've made and continue to make together. Even something as simple as coffee on the porch, a day at the beach, or girls night with munchies and movies means so much to me to know that I have you as part of my "Army family" away from home.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Monday, July 7, 2014
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Lent Lessons
I've spent the past 40 days off of Facebook for personal use as my sacrifice for Lent.
Disclaimer: I totally used it for Tastefully Simple stuff and PWOC Bible study stuff. God and I worked it out. No biggie.
The idea was that I was giving up something that I rely on and waste a lot of time on to show God that I don't need it because He is all I need. Because, really, do I need Facebook in my life? Not really. I mean, sure there are times where it's convenient to have, especially now that we've become a society where everything is shared, announced, and updated in milliseconds on the social network. But by giving up Facebook and worshiping God by showing Him that He is more important than Facebook, He showed me a lot of things and opened a lot of new doors.
I spent the beginning of Lent hanging out with my sister and her fiance who came up to visit. Instead of sitting on the couch on my phone/laptop checking Facebook, I actually interacted with Mindy and Clay and enjoyed all of our time together, present in the moment. We cooked dinner together, had sister time, game night, and just truly enjoyed being together for the long weekend. For the first time in a while, I actually felt like I was present in the moment instead of distracted by my phone.
I also got to spend a weekend with my beautiful sisters in Christ in Washington DC at the Global Prayer Gathering for the International Justice Mission. I spent 3 days deep in God' presence as He opened my eyes and my heart to injustice going on all over the world. From forced labor to sex slavery, so many of God's children are stuck in the dark, and it was incredible to be surrounded by 1200 other believers lifting up these mission workers and enslaved people together in His name. God called me to get out of my comfort zone and showed me some areas of my life He's calling to, but that's for another blog post. He also answered a long-standing prayer for more Godly women to build friendships with, which was amazing.
I had the opportunity to reunite with two of my absolute best friends from Ohio during this 40 days, and to just enjoy being together for the first time in almost 2 years! We laughed, we reminisced, we ate junk food, and we enjoyed every minute of our time together. It gave me a chance to show them around Drum and Syracuse, to introduce them to some of my Army family up here, and to finally share this chapter of my life with them. I absolutely loved having them here, and was so sad when they had to leave, but it was such a blessing that God worked out that they could be up here for almost 5 whole days with me!
God also opened a new door in terms of a job for the summer. I've been praying and very worried about what I would do when the school year ended and I couldn't sub anymore. With graduation coming in August and my loans coming out of deferment, I knew I needed something and I just kept praying that God would provide. Boy did He ever! A friend in PWOC introduced me to one of her wonderful neighbors and her 4-year-old son. She was in desperate need of full-time childcare for her son in their house, and after a 2-hour interview we realized that so many of our thoughts on children and development are on the same page. I start at the end of this month spending Monday through Friday with this sweet little boy who just needs some boundaries and love, and God has truly come through more than I could have ever hoped in terms of providing for our finances.
Lent also saw the end of another grad school semester, the completion (and passing) of my Master's thesis paper, and some more weight loss - woo hoo!
But the best part about Lent this year? That I have developed a deeper and strengthened relationship with God. As we're into Easter weekend at this point, the sacrifice and love that Christ showed to all of us has never been more apparent to me, and I'm so thankful for His grace and mercies, which I don't deserve but which are always enough!
So happy Easter to you and your family. May you spend tomorrow surrounded with people you love, celebrating God's love however you see fit. No matter what you do, though, don't forget to take a moment to sit in peace, surrounded by His presence, and thank Him for His undeserved but immeasurable love.
He is risen!
Disclaimer: I totally used it for Tastefully Simple stuff and PWOC Bible study stuff. God and I worked it out. No biggie.
The idea was that I was giving up something that I rely on and waste a lot of time on to show God that I don't need it because He is all I need. Because, really, do I need Facebook in my life? Not really. I mean, sure there are times where it's convenient to have, especially now that we've become a society where everything is shared, announced, and updated in milliseconds on the social network. But by giving up Facebook and worshiping God by showing Him that He is more important than Facebook, He showed me a lot of things and opened a lot of new doors.
I spent the beginning of Lent hanging out with my sister and her fiance who came up to visit. Instead of sitting on the couch on my phone/laptop checking Facebook, I actually interacted with Mindy and Clay and enjoyed all of our time together, present in the moment. We cooked dinner together, had sister time, game night, and just truly enjoyed being together for the long weekend. For the first time in a while, I actually felt like I was present in the moment instead of distracted by my phone.
I also got to spend a weekend with my beautiful sisters in Christ in Washington DC at the Global Prayer Gathering for the International Justice Mission. I spent 3 days deep in God' presence as He opened my eyes and my heart to injustice going on all over the world. From forced labor to sex slavery, so many of God's children are stuck in the dark, and it was incredible to be surrounded by 1200 other believers lifting up these mission workers and enslaved people together in His name. God called me to get out of my comfort zone and showed me some areas of my life He's calling to, but that's for another blog post. He also answered a long-standing prayer for more Godly women to build friendships with, which was amazing.
I had the opportunity to reunite with two of my absolute best friends from Ohio during this 40 days, and to just enjoy being together for the first time in almost 2 years! We laughed, we reminisced, we ate junk food, and we enjoyed every minute of our time together. It gave me a chance to show them around Drum and Syracuse, to introduce them to some of my Army family up here, and to finally share this chapter of my life with them. I absolutely loved having them here, and was so sad when they had to leave, but it was such a blessing that God worked out that they could be up here for almost 5 whole days with me!
God also opened a new door in terms of a job for the summer. I've been praying and very worried about what I would do when the school year ended and I couldn't sub anymore. With graduation coming in August and my loans coming out of deferment, I knew I needed something and I just kept praying that God would provide. Boy did He ever! A friend in PWOC introduced me to one of her wonderful neighbors and her 4-year-old son. She was in desperate need of full-time childcare for her son in their house, and after a 2-hour interview we realized that so many of our thoughts on children and development are on the same page. I start at the end of this month spending Monday through Friday with this sweet little boy who just needs some boundaries and love, and God has truly come through more than I could have ever hoped in terms of providing for our finances.
Lent also saw the end of another grad school semester, the completion (and passing) of my Master's thesis paper, and some more weight loss - woo hoo!
But the best part about Lent this year? That I have developed a deeper and strengthened relationship with God. As we're into Easter weekend at this point, the sacrifice and love that Christ showed to all of us has never been more apparent to me, and I'm so thankful for His grace and mercies, which I don't deserve but which are always enough!
So happy Easter to you and your family. May you spend tomorrow surrounded with people you love, celebrating God's love however you see fit. No matter what you do, though, don't forget to take a moment to sit in peace, surrounded by His presence, and thank Him for His undeserved but immeasurable love.
He is risen!
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Holes in our Heart
A small baby, but a big hole.
So far, that's the most accurate sentiment for what I'm feeling. At only 9 weeks (but measuring 6), our baby was the size of a lentil when we went into the ER for an ultrasound due to cramping and bleeding. That was four days ago. A lentil. And yet the hole it's left in our hearts and our lives is so much bigger.
I don't think anyone goes into a pregnancy expecting a miscarriage. But everyone goes in with the fear of it. Monday night, our biggest fear came true. Too much cramping and bleeding. Four hours, a pelvic exam, an ultrasound, and a lot of tears later, we were sent home with discharge papers and an informational handout on "threatened miscarriage." I wish I could say that things turned around after going home, but God had a different plan.
For the past three days, we have been processing our loss. Last night (Wednesday) was when our fear finally came full circle and I fully miscarried. There's no better way to say it, no way to sugar coat it or make it sound more poetic than it is. I miscarried our first pregnancy. Our first baby. And the biggest thing I have had to overcome through all of this processing is blaming myself. But that's for another post...
There is no right or wrong way to process this, from what we've found. There's no right or wrong way to feel. There's no prescribed length of time it takes to get through this. It's all a guessing game for us. We're learning each moment of each day what's right for us, for our family, and how we process it. I don't know if it will ever truly "go away" or "get better." What I do know is that this has brought H and I closer, and has given us a new appreciation for the child that God will bless us with when the time is right.
We're finding that our love is strong enough to overcome even the greatest loss. And that you can never take your partner's love and strength for granted. I honestly have no idea how I would have gotten through any of this without him by my side through it all.
We're finding that our faith is stronger than we realize. And that God's plan is always greater, even if we can't see it or understand it.
And we're learning that the support of our friends and family is crucial. No one ever really knows what to say when this happens, unless you've actually been through a miscarriage. Thank goodness for the support of a friend who has had her own share of heartache from the loss of a baby. She let me cry, ask questions, grieve, and move forward with an openness that I appreciate more than she can ever know. Nothing was off limits, and that's what I needed to help me process all of this. And the constant support of my mother, my best friend, and my sister is something that I can never truly repay. The patience, the understanding, the reminder that it's not my fault and that God has a bigger plan - I don't think I could have made it through all of this without their constant support and love.
Have we given up hope of being parents? Not by a long shot.
As soon as we're ready, we're getting back on that horse and trusting God's timing.
But I don't think we'll ever forget our first Nugget baby, our first love and loss. God had other plans for that baby, and has other plans for us. If anything, this loss has taught us to lean even more on our faith in God and on each other for strength. It's taught us that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know what that reason is or if it makes sense to us.
It's taught us that even the smallest baby can leave the biggest hole.
So far, that's the most accurate sentiment for what I'm feeling. At only 9 weeks (but measuring 6), our baby was the size of a lentil when we went into the ER for an ultrasound due to cramping and bleeding. That was four days ago. A lentil. And yet the hole it's left in our hearts and our lives is so much bigger.
I don't think anyone goes into a pregnancy expecting a miscarriage. But everyone goes in with the fear of it. Monday night, our biggest fear came true. Too much cramping and bleeding. Four hours, a pelvic exam, an ultrasound, and a lot of tears later, we were sent home with discharge papers and an informational handout on "threatened miscarriage." I wish I could say that things turned around after going home, but God had a different plan.
For the past three days, we have been processing our loss. Last night (Wednesday) was when our fear finally came full circle and I fully miscarried. There's no better way to say it, no way to sugar coat it or make it sound more poetic than it is. I miscarried our first pregnancy. Our first baby. And the biggest thing I have had to overcome through all of this processing is blaming myself. But that's for another post...
There is no right or wrong way to process this, from what we've found. There's no right or wrong way to feel. There's no prescribed length of time it takes to get through this. It's all a guessing game for us. We're learning each moment of each day what's right for us, for our family, and how we process it. I don't know if it will ever truly "go away" or "get better." What I do know is that this has brought H and I closer, and has given us a new appreciation for the child that God will bless us with when the time is right.
We're finding that our love is strong enough to overcome even the greatest loss. And that you can never take your partner's love and strength for granted. I honestly have no idea how I would have gotten through any of this without him by my side through it all.
We're finding that our faith is stronger than we realize. And that God's plan is always greater, even if we can't see it or understand it.
And we're learning that the support of our friends and family is crucial. No one ever really knows what to say when this happens, unless you've actually been through a miscarriage. Thank goodness for the support of a friend who has had her own share of heartache from the loss of a baby. She let me cry, ask questions, grieve, and move forward with an openness that I appreciate more than she can ever know. Nothing was off limits, and that's what I needed to help me process all of this. And the constant support of my mother, my best friend, and my sister is something that I can never truly repay. The patience, the understanding, the reminder that it's not my fault and that God has a bigger plan - I don't think I could have made it through all of this without their constant support and love.
Have we given up hope of being parents? Not by a long shot.
As soon as we're ready, we're getting back on that horse and trusting God's timing.
But I don't think we'll ever forget our first Nugget baby, our first love and loss. God had other plans for that baby, and has other plans for us. If anything, this loss has taught us to lean even more on our faith in God and on each other for strength. It's taught us that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know what that reason is or if it makes sense to us.
It's taught us that even the smallest baby can leave the biggest hole.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Where has the time gone?!
We've been in New York for 9 months? REALLY?
Where has the time gone? Seriously. It definitely doesn't feel like it's been that long. Maybe 4 months at most. But we've survived our first fall and winter in the North Country, H hit his one-year mark in the Army, and I've been teaching my preschoolers for eight months. Okay, I guess it has been that long. Wow that went by fast!
I know it seems crazy, but it feels like in the past 9 months there really haven't been that many interesting things going on to talk about. To be honest, it's almost felt a little stagnant. Not a bad stagnant, but definitely non-moving. Like I'm treading water.
As much as I've loved teaching at the preschool, it's not where my heart truly is. It's been almost 2 years since I've been in a high school classroom as a lead teacher, and I can feel myself losing a grip on the idea that I'll ever be back in one, especially here in New York. Up here, it's almost a requirement to have your Master's degree to be a teacher, which has put a damper on my ability to get back into a classroom. Thankfully, though, it looks like I'll be starting my Master's degree (back at good old BGSU!) program in August which will definitely help with the treading water feeling - almost like I'm finally starting to swim towards the far shore instead of just stay in place while I watch it like a dream.
I've also had to deal with homesickness more often than I anticipated. It's not terrible, but it's enough that every couple months I just feel like I'm missing out on everything back home. I've had to miss one very important wedding already this year, and there are at least 2 more that I can't attend. As the weather gets warmer, I keep feeling like "oh this is a perfect day to go grill and hang out with Krista and Abbie"; but of course, they're 600+ miles away. I'll find myself bored on a weeknight where H is in the field and all I want is to hang out with my sister and watch a movie. It usually only lasts a few days, and I do have some good friends who are up here that have been wonderful, but nothing beats being back home with my family once in a while.
Okay, enough with the Debbie Downerness of this post. While I've been dealing with the whole "treading water" and homesickness stuff, some amazing things have been happening! Both of our close friend couples up here have had babies in the past couple months! It's so wonderful to watch our friends' families expand and grow, and it's been an encouragement for us to try to start our own family. We are trusting God's hand in all of this and know that His timing is perfect timing, but we're hoping that sometime this summer we'll get some good news about our family doing some of it's own growing and expanding!
H passed the one-year mark for being in the Army back in March, and it's been a very interesting year for him. The unit that he originally got placed in has deployed, although he did not go with them. His particular company was kept behind on Rear Detachment (rear-d), and he's been temporarily moved from his original unit/company (an all-infantry unit) to a new unit/troop (a cavalry unit). While at first he wasn't excited about moving around like this, it's actually been a HUGE blessing in disguise. He's been able to move to a unit that is much better in terms of professionalism and training, and it's opened a lot of doors for him in terms of taking on leadership roles, going to training schools, and being taken seriously as a career soldier. He'll have the opportunity to go to the Soldier of the Month Board in a few weeks, which means he can (hopefully!) rank up sooner than anticipated. He's been able to prove himself a lot to his temporary commanding officers, even so much as to have them telling him that when his original unit returns from deployment, they want him to fill out paperwork to be permanently moved to their cavalry unit. He's really excited about that prospect, because in the cavalry unit he's got the ability to actually progress his career and get to where he wants to be a lot sooner. Praise God!
We also got to go to our first Military ball this spring, which was fantastic!
I've been able to start advertising and selling my cupcakes to friends up here, which has been amazing. It's like a pipe dream of mine is finally starting to come through, thanks to the support of H and his love of seeing my dreams come to fruition. It hasn't been anything crazy and big, but it's been enough to make me feel like I'm more than just a girl baking in her kitchen for free. (Yes, I'm about to shamelessly plug by business...but it's my blog, so I can do what I want! haha) Check out Lovebites Cupcakes :)
Riley kitten has grown a lot, and is officially the queen of our house. She's been so wonderful to have in our family, and it seems strange to think about our family before she was in it.
Okay, so I guess more has happened over the past 9 months than I'd realized. God has truly been blessing us up here. We've found a great church family where H gets to usher occasionally and I help with Sunday School. It finally feels like H's career is on-track and he'll have the chance to see some of his dreams come true. I'm able to attend grad school (finally!) and will hopefully be in my own classroom within the next year and a half. We've made great friends, gotten ourselves established and settled in up here, and are starting to work on growing our family. God's got His hand on us and we are truly blessed!
My goal is to actually update more than just every few months from now on. I know I've said it before, but with all the amazing things that are coming our way soon, I want to keep things updated more often. In theory, we'll use the blog to track the progress of trying to conceive and our pregnancy so there will be lots of updates from that! :) Hooray for blessings and change!
-M
Where has the time gone? Seriously. It definitely doesn't feel like it's been that long. Maybe 4 months at most. But we've survived our first fall and winter in the North Country, H hit his one-year mark in the Army, and I've been teaching my preschoolers for eight months. Okay, I guess it has been that long. Wow that went by fast!
I know it seems crazy, but it feels like in the past 9 months there really haven't been that many interesting things going on to talk about. To be honest, it's almost felt a little stagnant. Not a bad stagnant, but definitely non-moving. Like I'm treading water.
As much as I've loved teaching at the preschool, it's not where my heart truly is. It's been almost 2 years since I've been in a high school classroom as a lead teacher, and I can feel myself losing a grip on the idea that I'll ever be back in one, especially here in New York. Up here, it's almost a requirement to have your Master's degree to be a teacher, which has put a damper on my ability to get back into a classroom. Thankfully, though, it looks like I'll be starting my Master's degree (back at good old BGSU!) program in August which will definitely help with the treading water feeling - almost like I'm finally starting to swim towards the far shore instead of just stay in place while I watch it like a dream.
I've also had to deal with homesickness more often than I anticipated. It's not terrible, but it's enough that every couple months I just feel like I'm missing out on everything back home. I've had to miss one very important wedding already this year, and there are at least 2 more that I can't attend. As the weather gets warmer, I keep feeling like "oh this is a perfect day to go grill and hang out with Krista and Abbie"; but of course, they're 600+ miles away. I'll find myself bored on a weeknight where H is in the field and all I want is to hang out with my sister and watch a movie. It usually only lasts a few days, and I do have some good friends who are up here that have been wonderful, but nothing beats being back home with my family once in a while.
Okay, enough with the Debbie Downerness of this post. While I've been dealing with the whole "treading water" and homesickness stuff, some amazing things have been happening! Both of our close friend couples up here have had babies in the past couple months! It's so wonderful to watch our friends' families expand and grow, and it's been an encouragement for us to try to start our own family. We are trusting God's hand in all of this and know that His timing is perfect timing, but we're hoping that sometime this summer we'll get some good news about our family doing some of it's own growing and expanding!
 |
| Sharlot and I on Valentine's Day - one of my best friends up here! |
H passed the one-year mark for being in the Army back in March, and it's been a very interesting year for him. The unit that he originally got placed in has deployed, although he did not go with them. His particular company was kept behind on Rear Detachment (rear-d), and he's been temporarily moved from his original unit/company (an all-infantry unit) to a new unit/troop (a cavalry unit). While at first he wasn't excited about moving around like this, it's actually been a HUGE blessing in disguise. He's been able to move to a unit that is much better in terms of professionalism and training, and it's opened a lot of doors for him in terms of taking on leadership roles, going to training schools, and being taken seriously as a career soldier. He'll have the opportunity to go to the Soldier of the Month Board in a few weeks, which means he can (hopefully!) rank up sooner than anticipated. He's been able to prove himself a lot to his temporary commanding officers, even so much as to have them telling him that when his original unit returns from deployment, they want him to fill out paperwork to be permanently moved to their cavalry unit. He's really excited about that prospect, because in the cavalry unit he's got the ability to actually progress his career and get to where he wants to be a lot sooner. Praise God!
We also got to go to our first Military ball this spring, which was fantastic!
 |
| At the ball in March 2013 |
I've been able to start advertising and selling my cupcakes to friends up here, which has been amazing. It's like a pipe dream of mine is finally starting to come through, thanks to the support of H and his love of seeing my dreams come to fruition. It hasn't been anything crazy and big, but it's been enough to make me feel like I'm more than just a girl baking in her kitchen for free. (Yes, I'm about to shamelessly plug by business...but it's my blog, so I can do what I want! haha) Check out Lovebites Cupcakes :)
Riley kitten has grown a lot, and is officially the queen of our house. She's been so wonderful to have in our family, and it seems strange to think about our family before she was in it.
 |
| Baby Riley Kitten - not so little anymore! |
My goal is to actually update more than just every few months from now on. I know I've said it before, but with all the amazing things that are coming our way soon, I want to keep things updated more often. In theory, we'll use the blog to track the progress of trying to conceive and our pregnancy so there will be lots of updates from that! :) Hooray for blessings and change!
-M
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Our Wedding Plans
A lot of people recently have asked questions about our wedding and how we're going about doing this whole justice of the peace thing, how the engagement has worked out, and about our plans for a traditional ceremony and reception in the future.
So here, spelled out, are our wedding plans:
Last year, my soon to be husband and I began seriously talking marriage. We knew it was something we both wanted for our future together, and with him going into the Army we knew we wanted to be married before he left for basic training. While it might be unconventional and take away from the surprise of the "will you marry me" surprise (Are people actually legitimately surprised when their partner proposes? I mean, yes you can/should be surprised by the style/timing of the proposal, but I feel like if you're at the stage for proposing you should have already had lengthy convos about getting married and your future together. So the fact that they are proposing shouldn't be that much of a surprise, right?) we wanted to make sure that we talked and planned things out, discussed how we would raise our family, and make sure that we were on the same page about lots of things. Plus, we wanted to make sure God was at the center of our marriage so we took the time to pray and make room for Him in our lives.
Because of him joining the Army, and the fact that we knew we wanted to be married before he left for basic, we had some things to work around. We knew that with him being in school and me being a first-year teacher and having so many student loans to pay back, we could not save up for a big traditional ceremony and reception before he left. We started talking to other Military couples and reading about how they handled the Army/marriage situation, and we learned that it's actually very common for couples to be married with a justice of the peace before the husband leaves for basic training and then later in the follow year, when he has a chance for leave, to have the big, traditional ceremony and reception with all of their friends and family. After doing a lot of talking with each other and our parents, we determined that this would be the best plan for us.
Even though we have been planning out this wedding situation for almost 8 months, he has not technically proposed yet. We've purchased the rings, but he is waiting for a very specific moment/date to officially pop the question (I still don't know what this date is, but apparently it has some kind of significance to us. I like the surprise of it, and I can't wait to tell everyone the story of how it finally happened!) We consider ourselves to be engaged, and refer to each other as "fiance" when talking to other people, he just hasn't put a ring on it yet ;)
On November 11, 2011, he and I will be married by a justice of the peace at the Cuyahoga County Courthouse with just our parents, maid of honor, and best man in attendance. We want it to be a very intimate ceremony, and that is why we have chosen only a very select few people to be there.
Next year around Christmas, he will be on leave from Army training and will be able to come home to Northeast Ohio. At that time, tentatively on December 29, 2012, we will be holding a traditional ceremony with the full wedding party as well as a large reception. At this time, we will be celebrating our love and marriage with a vow renewal (the traditional ceremony) and reception with all of our friends and family. We are so thankful that even though we won't have all of our friends and family at the justice of the peace ceremony, they will be able to join us for a true celebration the following year!
No, it's not necessarily traditional. No, it's not necessarily the way either of us imagined.
But it works for our circumstances, and it will allow us to be together during times that non-married soldiers would have to spend apart from their loved one while saving up for the traditional ceremony and reception we've always dreamed of.
We both hope that people aren't offended or upset that they won't be a part of our justice of the peace wedding, and that our friends and family will be understanding of our circumstances. We can't wait to celebrate with all of you who have been such an important and supportive part of our lives and relationship together!
So here, spelled out, are our wedding plans:
Last year, my soon to be husband and I began seriously talking marriage. We knew it was something we both wanted for our future together, and with him going into the Army we knew we wanted to be married before he left for basic training. While it might be unconventional and take away from the surprise of the "will you marry me" surprise (Are people actually legitimately surprised when their partner proposes? I mean, yes you can/should be surprised by the style/timing of the proposal, but I feel like if you're at the stage for proposing you should have already had lengthy convos about getting married and your future together. So the fact that they are proposing shouldn't be that much of a surprise, right?) we wanted to make sure that we talked and planned things out, discussed how we would raise our family, and make sure that we were on the same page about lots of things. Plus, we wanted to make sure God was at the center of our marriage so we took the time to pray and make room for Him in our lives.
Because of him joining the Army, and the fact that we knew we wanted to be married before he left for basic, we had some things to work around. We knew that with him being in school and me being a first-year teacher and having so many student loans to pay back, we could not save up for a big traditional ceremony and reception before he left. We started talking to other Military couples and reading about how they handled the Army/marriage situation, and we learned that it's actually very common for couples to be married with a justice of the peace before the husband leaves for basic training and then later in the follow year, when he has a chance for leave, to have the big, traditional ceremony and reception with all of their friends and family. After doing a lot of talking with each other and our parents, we determined that this would be the best plan for us.
Even though we have been planning out this wedding situation for almost 8 months, he has not technically proposed yet. We've purchased the rings, but he is waiting for a very specific moment/date to officially pop the question (I still don't know what this date is, but apparently it has some kind of significance to us. I like the surprise of it, and I can't wait to tell everyone the story of how it finally happened!) We consider ourselves to be engaged, and refer to each other as "fiance" when talking to other people, he just hasn't put a ring on it yet ;)
On November 11, 2011, he and I will be married by a justice of the peace at the Cuyahoga County Courthouse with just our parents, maid of honor, and best man in attendance. We want it to be a very intimate ceremony, and that is why we have chosen only a very select few people to be there.
Next year around Christmas, he will be on leave from Army training and will be able to come home to Northeast Ohio. At that time, tentatively on December 29, 2012, we will be holding a traditional ceremony with the full wedding party as well as a large reception. At this time, we will be celebrating our love and marriage with a vow renewal (the traditional ceremony) and reception with all of our friends and family. We are so thankful that even though we won't have all of our friends and family at the justice of the peace ceremony, they will be able to join us for a true celebration the following year!
No, it's not necessarily traditional. No, it's not necessarily the way either of us imagined.
But it works for our circumstances, and it will allow us to be together during times that non-married soldiers would have to spend apart from their loved one while saving up for the traditional ceremony and reception we've always dreamed of.
We both hope that people aren't offended or upset that they won't be a part of our justice of the peace wedding, and that our friends and family will be understanding of our circumstances. We can't wait to celebrate with all of you who have been such an important and supportive part of our lives and relationship together!
Monday, September 5, 2011
Wedding time!
I love a good wedding, especially when it's uniting two people who truly belong together. For instance, our friends Sarah and Brandon. H and Brandon were college roommates, and H got the pleasure of watching Brandon and Sarah's relationship from the start! I've known them for about 4 years, and they are both some of the most genuinely good people I've ever met. Their wedding was absolutely beautiful, and we were both thankful to be invited to be a part of it!
Here are a few of my favorite pics:
The newlyweds!
So beautiful and happy!
Myself, Sarah, Brandon, and H
We had an amazing time, and we send nothing but love and blessings their way! It made me so excited to be there, because all I could think about our wedding! Granted, we've got a little over a year before the big ceremony and reception, but it's still so exciting! At the wedding, we got a chance to tell our friends about our wedding plans, too, which was so wonderful to share our exciting news!
We are 67 days away from our JoP wedding, and I couldn't be more excited! In a week, we can go buy our marriage license, in about 6 weeks we can call the courthouse and make an appointment for our wedding, and in 67 days I will be married to my best friend, my lover, and my soulmate. (wow...that got really mushy really fast...my apologies lol) My mom bought me a wedding planner, which should be here sometime next week, and we're planning on going to a bridal show back home (in the part of the state of where we'll be doing the traditional ceremony and reception next year) in October. I'm so excited for the REAL planning to begin!
Gosh, weddings are the best!!
Here are a few of my favorite pics:
We had an amazing time, and we send nothing but love and blessings their way! It made me so excited to be there, because all I could think about our wedding! Granted, we've got a little over a year before the big ceremony and reception, but it's still so exciting! At the wedding, we got a chance to tell our friends about our wedding plans, too, which was so wonderful to share our exciting news!
We are 67 days away from our JoP wedding, and I couldn't be more excited! In a week, we can go buy our marriage license, in about 6 weeks we can call the courthouse and make an appointment for our wedding, and in 67 days I will be married to my best friend, my lover, and my soulmate. (wow...that got really mushy really fast...my apologies lol) My mom bought me a wedding planner, which should be here sometime next week, and we're planning on going to a bridal show back home (in the part of the state of where we'll be doing the traditional ceremony and reception next year) in October. I'm so excited for the REAL planning to begin!
Gosh, weddings are the best!!
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