Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Numbers Game

Feeling slightly discouraged tonight.  I don't know if it's the January blues, or that I've had some startling numbers thrown my way lately, but it's not a very fun feeling.  I know I'll get through it because I have an amazing support system of my husband, my friends, my family, and God, but the more I think about these numbers, the more discouraged I get.

36.5 = my body fat percentage (gross.)

29 = my body mass index (one step short of obese, although if you've seen me you wouldn't EVER think that!)

75 = number of days until H leaves for the Army

5 = the average number of hours I sleep every night because I can't seem to stay asleep

16 = the number of consecutive days I've had an eye twitch brought on my stress

So these numbers aren't great.
I know that the first 2 and the last 2 can improve.  But that third number really gets me.  After having my husband by my side for the past 4 years (minus a few bumps in the road) while we were dating, and after having lived with him in our tiny apartment for the past year and a half, it's going to be hard to be here alone, knowing that he's not coming home anytime soon and not knowing when the next time I'll hear from him will be.

Times when 75 seems like a big number:
-When you need to lose 75 pounds (thankfully I only need to lose 50!)
-When it's the number of envelopes you need to lick, address, and stamp before the mail comes in the afternoon
-When it's the number of minutes you have to sit with your crazy Aunt Ida who can't seem to stop asking about when you're going to find a man/get married/have a baby/have a steady job/move out on your own.

Times when 75 seems like a small number:
-When it's your paycheck after 2 weeks of work
-When it's the number of people who RSVP'd to your wedding (you'd invited 200...)
-When it's the number of days until you live alone and don't speak to your husband on a daily/hourly basis and you miss him in amounts larger than you ever thought possible.

Repeat after me...
I can do this.
I can do this.
Thank goodness for my momma, God, and moosetracks ice cream to get me through this... oops.  That last thing is probably why I have the first 2 numbers on my list...

xoxo, Melissa

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Soon Enough

I'm on a list-making/calendar-filling kick right now.

Let me explain. I'm overly organized by most people's standards. I have small notebooks for different things (Army info, wedding stuff, bills and budget, etc.). We have a dry erase monthly calendar hanging on the front door with weekly/month to-do lists. We have a dry erase board on the fridge for miscellaneous information that we need to share/remember. I have a food planner/weekly calendar for meals on the fridge. I have a planner that is color-coordinated that I swear if ever got lost would cause me coronary arrest. And I can't live without post-it notes and lists.
Obsessive about staying organized? Probably.
But I'll tell you this---it's been extremely useful in making sure things don't fall apart around here.

It's the beginning of a new year, so it only makes sense for me to start some lists and open my new 2012 planner. I didn't go overboard with them, don't worry. But there are a lot of things that need to get done and a lot of events that are coming up that I need to stay organized for. Don't judge me---list-making and calendar-filling make me feel better. Seriously, stop judging...okaythanks. :)

It's come to my attention that H leaves in just under 3 months. Wow...that's really stinkin' close. So today I started my "Pre-Ship Honey-Do List" and began thinking of all the things I need him to do, to show me, and to prepare before he leaves. This, of course, led me to a small crying meltdown. No big deal, but I get the feeling this are going to be happening more often as March 26 gets closer. That led me to realize that I have less than 3 months to drop 30 pounds. I want to be as close to my goal weight as possible before he leaves (because who wants to remember a fatty wife all through basic?! haha just kidding...no but seriously...) and I can lose 30 healthily, even though I'll still be about 20 pounds from my actual goal weight. Yes, that means I have 50 pounds to lose.

This led me to list number 2: my "no holds barred, must lose weight" list. This list is a little simpler, and includes the following: the only foods that are Paleo-friendly that we're allowing in this house and the CrossFit exercise plan I will be following. Surprisingly, this list I'm really excited about. We got 2 really amazing Paleo cookbooks for Christmas (Paleo Comfort Foods  and The Primal Blueprint Cookbook) and with my great new weekly food planning/grocery list calendar, we're able to plan out some tasty new Paleo meals.  Today, I made Paleo biscuits and gravy, and it was probably as close to Bob Evans as I can possibly get.  Delicious! :)

List number 2 makes me happy: Thursday can't come soon enough so I can get back into the gym and do some CrossFit again.  My body has never been happier than when I was CrossFitting/lifting on a regular basis and when I was eating Paleo 90% of the time.

List number 1 makes me sad:  March 26 is going to be here too soon, and then I will have to say goodbye to my best friend for about 8 months---7 of which will be during our first year of marriage (no bueno).  I'm beyond happy to see him finally start his career and for this chapter of our life to begin, but I'm not happy to see him leave.  That's a whole different post, though...

xoxo, Melissa