Feeling slightly discouraged tonight. I don't know if it's the January blues, or that I've had some startling numbers thrown my way lately, but it's not a very fun feeling. I know I'll get through it because I have an amazing support system of my husband, my friends, my family, and God, but the more I think about these numbers, the more discouraged I get.
36.5 = my body fat percentage (gross.)
29 = my body mass index (one step short of obese, although if you've seen me you wouldn't EVER think that!)
75 = number of days until H leaves for the Army
5 = the average number of hours I sleep every night because I can't seem to stay asleep
16 = the number of consecutive days I've had an eye twitch brought on my stress
So these numbers aren't great.
I know that the first 2 and the last 2 can improve. But that third number really gets me. After having my husband by my side for the past 4 years (minus a few bumps in the road) while we were dating, and after having lived with him in our tiny apartment for the past year and a half, it's going to be hard to be here alone, knowing that he's not coming home anytime soon and not knowing when the next time I'll hear from him will be.
Times when 75 seems like a big number:
-When you need to lose 75 pounds (thankfully I only need to lose 50!)
-When it's the number of envelopes you need to lick, address, and stamp before the mail comes in the afternoon
-When it's the number of minutes you have to sit with your crazy Aunt Ida who can't seem to stop asking about when you're going to find a man/get married/have a baby/have a steady job/move out on your own.
Times when 75 seems like a small number:
-When it's your paycheck after 2 weeks of work
-When it's the number of people who RSVP'd to your wedding (you'd invited 200...)
-When it's the number of days until you live alone and don't speak to your husband on a daily/hourly basis and you miss him in amounts larger than you ever thought possible.
Repeat after me...
I can do this.
I can do this.
Thank goodness for my momma, God, and moosetracks ice cream to get me through this... oops. That last thing is probably why I have the first 2 numbers on my list...