Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Back to "normal"

It's really strange to go back to "normal" now that H is gone.  It's like I feel like so much has changed because of H leaving that it seems weird to try and go back to normal--how can things be normal when the most "normal" part of my world and my routine is gone?  Side note:  H is probably the furthest from "normal" I've ever met, but our abnormalness together creates our own version of normalcy.  Yeah, we're strange like that...

Going back to work today was nice.  It got me out of the house for the day, which is good because it means I'm not sitting around stewing in my own thoughts.  It was also really great to get back because I missed my coworkers and my kiddos a lot.  You don't realize how much joy these kids bring you until you need some cheering up--a 3-year-olds hug never fails to put a smile on my face!  But it was so strange to go back to work and go back to my normal routine when I still feel like everything has changed.

In reality, life is pretty much the same, minus the fact that my other half is a 16-hour drive away getting yelled at by drill sergeants.  Work is still work, my daily routine is still pretty much the same (minus seeing H, adding the gym), and my attitude about life in general hasn't changed (although  my faith and relationship with God is becoming stronger, which generally makes life a little better).  But some part of me feels strange trying to go back to normal without him here....

xoxo, M

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