Sometimes life can be so overwhelming. Just when you think everything is falling perfectly into place and working out, a wrench gets thrown in that makes everything come to a grinding halt. And then what?
Grad school: I was supposed to start my Masters classes at BGSU in less than a month. I'm only taking one class per semester because of the cost, and thankfully I'd received the TEACH Grant, which would pay for that one class each semester, plus books, plus parking, and give me a little bit extra to throw in the bank. Two days ago, I hop onto the financial aid site to see when my grant would be applied only to see that BG was going to give me one-quarter of the amount I was supposed to get. That means I'd have to come up with almost $1300 out of pocket to pay for the class, the books, and my parking pass...no bueno. When I call financial aid, there is basically nothing they will do for me, which in short means I have to withdraw from the university. No Masters degree for me...yet.
Army: H is having a harder time cutting weight to get his contract than he expected, which is pushing our plans further back. He took his ASVAB and got a very high score on it, which is great, but unless he cuts his body fat down to 22%, he can't get his specific contract; he'll have to go Ranger Airborne instead, and try for it later in his career. He's been working so hard, and he's already lost so much weight and body fat! He's at the leanest I've ever seen him (my future hubby is getting so sexy!) and he's so determined, but it's almost like he's stuck at 24%. He's giving himself 2 weeks (about 10 days left as I'm writing this) to make weight, or he's going with the Ranger Airborne contract--and thus deferring his dream contract.
Teaching: Week 3 of no English teacher jobs posted on the Ohio Department of Education's website for this area. It's so frustrating to know that I'm a dedicated, compassionate, creative teacher and I can't even show districts how amazing I would be because they don't have any positions to interview for, let alone hire me to fill. Lack of teaching jobs has forced me to start applying for random full-time and part-time jobs in the area--even food service. Yes, I'm that desperate. We have bills to pay, and at this point I'll do just about anything to pay them. Note: JUST ABOUT. Like Meatloaf, I would do anything...but I won't do that. So I'm unemployed, benefitless, and more than a little stressed about bills.
On the bright side, wedding things are going okay...well, as much as you can do when you're just having a JoP wedding before the Army consumers your life and family.
Even with all of these little wrenches thrown into our plans, I'm trying so hard to stay positive and trust that God isn't leaving us, He's certainly not forsaking us, and in the end His plan is bigger than any wrench that comes our way. Trust is so hard, though. It's like trying to see the road ahead when the fog is so thick you can't even see the lines in the road. You know there's something greater up ahead, and you know that if you keep moving you'll get there eventually, but it's so easy to lose sight of it when all you can focus on are the problems and barriers that are blocking your vision at that exact moment. I'm trying to believe past the fog right now, and wait patiently for God to clear the path, but faith is a funny thing. Just when you think you can't possibly have any more of it, God gives you another reason to trust Him and keep that faith strong.