Monday, November 15, 2010

Is this what being an adult is supposed to feel like?

I honestly feel like I'm living for the weekend/summer. Most days, I don't look forward to work. In fact, I feel like work is just a thorn in my life right now, which is something that I'm not used to. I've disliked jobs in the past, but I've never had a teaching job that makes me really feel this way. It's not because I hate teaching, it's because I'm discontent with the structure of the type of school I'm teaching at. It's not at all what I had dreamed of, and I feel like maybe the charter-school setting just isn't for me. I like the structure of a traditonal school setting: after school programs, sports, music and art programs, set discipline procedures, Friday night football games where I watch my students perform, and so much more. Trust me, this has absolutely nothing to do with my current students, the staff, the curriculum, or anything else--I just feel like maybe the charter-school setting isn't for me at this point in my life.

On the bright side, I'm learning a lot about teaching and curriculum, which are things that I will be able to take with me through the rest of my career. And while this isn't my ideal first-year teaching experience, it's definitely not the worst it could be. Just praying for God to keep leading me through this and keep me focused on the positive aspects of it all.

And thank goodness for my family and H, who absolutely support me through all of the hardships, even when all I want to do/can do is cry! Seriously don't think I could do this all without them!

So maybe this isn't exactly what being an adult is supposed to feel like... but maybe it's feeling like this and learning from it that is what being an adult is all about.

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