I'm putting it all out there.
Went to the doctor yesterday. According to Guthrie Medical Clinic, I weigh 187 pounds with 37% body fat.
Disgusting.
My BMI is officially in the "obese" range (though thankfully at the low end, and I definitely don't feel obese, or even feel like I look obese).
I feel disgusted by myself for getting this bad. When H and I met 5 years ago, I weighed 50 pounds less and was much healthier/happier about my body. I know all about "happy relationship weight" but that doesn't make how I'm feeling ab out myself any better.
Ugh, why can't I seem to stick to eating Paleo lately? I've been eating smaller portions at work for breakfast and lunch, mainly because I'm eating what the kids eat in the kid-size portions, but when I get home all I want to do is graze and munch. I'm trying to get us back on track with meal planning, because that definitely helps to minimize my munching and my "I don't know what to make so lets just order something" meal cop-out. But it seems like just as I'm having a few really good days of being on track, something pops up and I'll eat something I regret and all of a sudden I've been off-track for like a week and I feel totally guilty.
I really need to get back to the gym, too. H is out on profile for a knee injury so he can't work out as normal, and I'm going to totally take advantage of it by making him become my Meaning McMeanerson Workout Coach and have him kick my butt at the gym. I just end up being so tired after work that I come home to relax before working out, which turns into never actually going to the gym. So H has promised to start meeting me at the gym right after work so there isn't even time for me to go home before working out. Hopefully that's going to help get my butt in gear!
I need to focus. I need to remember what my end goal is and that I've been there before so I can get back there again. I can do this.
-M
Showing posts with label working out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label working out. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Back at it
Hello.
Remember when I used to blog all the time? Yeah...me too.
Things have been very chaotic around here, which I'll get to, but it almost felt like there wasn't anything to blog about even though there has been so much going on. I don't know, I guess because I feel like this is all becoming a normal part of our life as an Army family, it wasn't interesting enough to actually write about. But after seeing a dear friend of mine pick back up on her blogging, and how maybe if I do the same I'll be able to stick to some things that I need to work on the way she is. So thanks, Katie, for inspiring me to get back to blogging and back to refocusing on my lifestyle goals!
Alright, so let's update!
May: My best friend Krista moved in with me so I wasn't completely alone while H was gone. It was good to have her there, and to know that when I was having a lonely day that she was there to help me get through it. We celebrated my 26th birthday (26! I'm officially closer to 30 than 20...gross) and our best friend Abbie's 21st. H also got a 36-hour pass at the end of the month, so we got to Facetime and actually see each other for the first time since he left.
June: I finished out the school year at the Montessori school, which was exciting but very, very sad. It meant that I was that much closer to being reunited with H but saying goodbye to the kids and the staff that I had grown so close to was extremely hard for me. June also held a visit from my brother, a friend's wedding, and 2 solid weeks of shenanigans with my besties before having to move out of BG.
July: July 1st I moved out of BG for the first time in 7 years, which was truly the end of an era. But moving back to my parents' house was going to be good, financially and emotionally, before I had to move to whatever base the Army would be sending us. Mid-way through July was H's OSUT graduation, too! My parents and I took a week-long trip to Ft. Benning, GA to watch H graduate and get his infantryman cord. I could not have been more proud of him! Georgia was beautiful, and I even had a chance to stop by my sorority's headquarters and get a private, after-hours tour of the building. July also gave me one last chance to head back to BG to spend a night out on the town with my best friends. And of course, July was the Olympics, which Krista and I made sure to celebrate appropriately (aka wearing our goggles and gold medals while cheering on Team USA together!)
July also brought a major change in our plans. Due to some ridiculously complicated Army mumbo-jumbo (for lack of an easier/better way to explain it haha) H's contract got changed at the last minute. For him, this meant taking a detour from his original plan/dream and for me, it meant having the opportunity to move to a base with H a lot sooner than anticipated. While I was sad that H's plans had to take this detour, it was hard not to be just a little happy to be reunited with H sooner than we'd originally though, especially after spending the past 5 months apart.
August: August brought "the move," which meant that it also brought a wonderful going away party where I got to see old and far-away friends before moving to our newest destination - Fort Drum, New York. Don't know where that is? Get a map of New York. Next, locate Syracuse. Okay, now go straight north of Syracuse and put your finger on the Canadian border. Got it? Depending on the size of your map, your finger may already be covering Fort Drum. Yes, that's just how north we really are. But it's beautiful here, and living on post has been great so far. Check back with me in about a month when it starts snowing and I may have a different answer for you... :)
So now we're into September, and things have settled down a bit. H's battalion has been out of state doing some training, but because they left around the time that I moved up here, he didn't have to go because he was on leave. While he's waiting for them to get back, he's been training for his Expert Infantryman Badge and keeping busy on Rear Detachment (hehehe that makes me giggle every time I say it!), but I think he's ready to have his battalion and his friends back soon. I've been keeping busy setting up our new house, getting involved on post through church, and taking care of our new furbaby, Riley. I've also started working a part-time job in retail, but praying daily for God to open up a teaching position for me. I have a second interview at a preschool on Tuesday morning, so hopefully this is the door that God is opening for me!
Faith has been extremely important through all of this. Faith that God would help us get through the separation, faith for what was going on with H's contract, faith while waiting for housing to open up in a timely matter for us (we only had to wait 1 week after I moved here before our house was ready--praise God!), faith that I would find a job, faith that he would help us find a perfect home church up here, and so much more! He has truly taken care of us in so many ways and provided for us when things were tight and scary. He is so good, and we continue to look to Him for strength, guidance, and help as we are adjusting to our new life.
With a new home, a new location, and a new plan for our lives comes a need for a new (or I guess renewed) drive for getting back to my healthy lifestyle again. I'm an emotional eater, and that's nothing new. So while H was gone and I had a lot of emotion running around, it was really hard to stay focused on eating well and working out, which lead to a jump in my weight that I'm not happy about or proud of. I mean, it's nothing major but it's enough that I notice it and don't like it. Now that we're settled, I'm hoping we can get refocused on being back to pretty strict Paleo and getting back into the gym at least 4-5 times a week. It's what we both need and I have got to stop feeling so down on myself all the time about my looks and weight. So hopefully by being back into the blogging world, I can keep better track of my goals and where I'm at in reaching them. I won't give up, because I know how much I need this right now.
So that's our life. Over the past 4 months, I've lived in 4 different places (if you include living at the hotel while we waited for our house to open up), I've reunited with H, we've adopted a kitten, and I've started a new job with the prospects of getting back into the classroom. I've learned to trust God for so much and be patient for His timing. And I've officially stepped into the role of Army wife.
I couldn't love life more right now!
Remember when I used to blog all the time? Yeah...me too.
Things have been very chaotic around here, which I'll get to, but it almost felt like there wasn't anything to blog about even though there has been so much going on. I don't know, I guess because I feel like this is all becoming a normal part of our life as an Army family, it wasn't interesting enough to actually write about. But after seeing a dear friend of mine pick back up on her blogging, and how maybe if I do the same I'll be able to stick to some things that I need to work on the way she is. So thanks, Katie, for inspiring me to get back to blogging and back to refocusing on my lifestyle goals!
Alright, so let's update!
May: My best friend Krista moved in with me so I wasn't completely alone while H was gone. It was good to have her there, and to know that when I was having a lonely day that she was there to help me get through it. We celebrated my 26th birthday (26! I'm officially closer to 30 than 20...gross) and our best friend Abbie's 21st. H also got a 36-hour pass at the end of the month, so we got to Facetime and actually see each other for the first time since he left.
June: I finished out the school year at the Montessori school, which was exciting but very, very sad. It meant that I was that much closer to being reunited with H but saying goodbye to the kids and the staff that I had grown so close to was extremely hard for me. June also held a visit from my brother, a friend's wedding, and 2 solid weeks of shenanigans with my besties before having to move out of BG.
July: July 1st I moved out of BG for the first time in 7 years, which was truly the end of an era. But moving back to my parents' house was going to be good, financially and emotionally, before I had to move to whatever base the Army would be sending us. Mid-way through July was H's OSUT graduation, too! My parents and I took a week-long trip to Ft. Benning, GA to watch H graduate and get his infantryman cord. I could not have been more proud of him! Georgia was beautiful, and I even had a chance to stop by my sorority's headquarters and get a private, after-hours tour of the building. July also gave me one last chance to head back to BG to spend a night out on the town with my best friends. And of course, July was the Olympics, which Krista and I made sure to celebrate appropriately (aka wearing our goggles and gold medals while cheering on Team USA together!)
July also brought a major change in our plans. Due to some ridiculously complicated Army mumbo-jumbo (for lack of an easier/better way to explain it haha) H's contract got changed at the last minute. For him, this meant taking a detour from his original plan/dream and for me, it meant having the opportunity to move to a base with H a lot sooner than anticipated. While I was sad that H's plans had to take this detour, it was hard not to be just a little happy to be reunited with H sooner than we'd originally though, especially after spending the past 5 months apart.
August: August brought "the move," which meant that it also brought a wonderful going away party where I got to see old and far-away friends before moving to our newest destination - Fort Drum, New York. Don't know where that is? Get a map of New York. Next, locate Syracuse. Okay, now go straight north of Syracuse and put your finger on the Canadian border. Got it? Depending on the size of your map, your finger may already be covering Fort Drum. Yes, that's just how north we really are. But it's beautiful here, and living on post has been great so far. Check back with me in about a month when it starts snowing and I may have a different answer for you... :)
So now we're into September, and things have settled down a bit. H's battalion has been out of state doing some training, but because they left around the time that I moved up here, he didn't have to go because he was on leave. While he's waiting for them to get back, he's been training for his Expert Infantryman Badge and keeping busy on Rear Detachment (hehehe that makes me giggle every time I say it!), but I think he's ready to have his battalion and his friends back soon. I've been keeping busy setting up our new house, getting involved on post through church, and taking care of our new furbaby, Riley. I've also started working a part-time job in retail, but praying daily for God to open up a teaching position for me. I have a second interview at a preschool on Tuesday morning, so hopefully this is the door that God is opening for me!
Faith has been extremely important through all of this. Faith that God would help us get through the separation, faith for what was going on with H's contract, faith while waiting for housing to open up in a timely matter for us (we only had to wait 1 week after I moved here before our house was ready--praise God!), faith that I would find a job, faith that he would help us find a perfect home church up here, and so much more! He has truly taken care of us in so many ways and provided for us when things were tight and scary. He is so good, and we continue to look to Him for strength, guidance, and help as we are adjusting to our new life.
With a new home, a new location, and a new plan for our lives comes a need for a new (or I guess renewed) drive for getting back to my healthy lifestyle again. I'm an emotional eater, and that's nothing new. So while H was gone and I had a lot of emotion running around, it was really hard to stay focused on eating well and working out, which lead to a jump in my weight that I'm not happy about or proud of. I mean, it's nothing major but it's enough that I notice it and don't like it. Now that we're settled, I'm hoping we can get refocused on being back to pretty strict Paleo and getting back into the gym at least 4-5 times a week. It's what we both need and I have got to stop feeling so down on myself all the time about my looks and weight. So hopefully by being back into the blogging world, I can keep better track of my goals and where I'm at in reaching them. I won't give up, because I know how much I need this right now.
So that's our life. Over the past 4 months, I've lived in 4 different places (if you include living at the hotel while we waited for our house to open up), I've reunited with H, we've adopted a kitten, and I've started a new job with the prospects of getting back into the classroom. I've learned to trust God for so much and be patient for His timing. And I've officially stepped into the role of Army wife.
I couldn't love life more right now!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Whole30 Days 1 & 2
It's really hard to blog, mainly because that was something H encouraged me to do while he was here. It was like one of "those things" that we had together, and now that he's gone it's hard to make myself keep going with it. It's the reason I don't craft anymore, the reason I can't bring myself to play our old video games, and why I haven't been baking. I just don't feel like doing these things without my husband here, so I've just been ignoring them.
I'm trying to force myself to get back to blogging, because being an Army wife doesn't mean that I have to stop everything just because he's gone. In fact, if anything, that's the time I need to keep doing it in order to keep life as normal as possible. The separation sucks, by the way, but I'm dealing with it. I have an amazing support system that keeps me going, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't counting down the sleeps until we're back together again at his graduation. I know that God's plan is being fulfilled, so I'm trying to stay patient and remember that this time apart is all part of His plan. But some days, it really sucks... :)
So I'm trying to get back on track with the Whole30 program. H sent me pics of him, and he's lost so much weight and trimmed up so much! I don't want him to be disappointed that I'm not losing as much as he has (although his workout plan is way more intense than mine is haha!) so I'm trying to get back on track. I'm going to try to blog it more, too, because hopefully that will keep me focused, too.
Day 1
-Breakfast: egg mcmuffin without the muffin
-Lunch: taco salad with s.cream and jalapenos
-Dinner: crockpot ribs from PaleoPot and corn on the cob
Day 2
-Breakfast: scrambled eggs with bacon
-Lunch: bunless burger, corn on the cob, and fresh veggies
-Dinner: leftover ribs and salad (tentatively, since it's only 3:15pm right now)
So far so good--even though it's only been 2 days. I'd really like to add running, but I'm having a hard time getting my butt in gear. I think I'm just going to have to force myself to hit the gym. I wish I had more determination, easier access to a Crossfit gym, and someone to do it with, but I guess for now I'll have to suck it up and work with my circumstances...
xoxo, M
I'm trying to force myself to get back to blogging, because being an Army wife doesn't mean that I have to stop everything just because he's gone. In fact, if anything, that's the time I need to keep doing it in order to keep life as normal as possible. The separation sucks, by the way, but I'm dealing with it. I have an amazing support system that keeps me going, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't counting down the sleeps until we're back together again at his graduation. I know that God's plan is being fulfilled, so I'm trying to stay patient and remember that this time apart is all part of His plan. But some days, it really sucks... :)
So I'm trying to get back on track with the Whole30 program. H sent me pics of him, and he's lost so much weight and trimmed up so much! I don't want him to be disappointed that I'm not losing as much as he has (although his workout plan is way more intense than mine is haha!) so I'm trying to get back on track. I'm going to try to blog it more, too, because hopefully that will keep me focused, too.
Day 1
-Breakfast: egg mcmuffin without the muffin
-Lunch: taco salad with s.cream and jalapenos
-Dinner: crockpot ribs from PaleoPot and corn on the cob
Day 2
-Breakfast: scrambled eggs with bacon
-Lunch: bunless burger, corn on the cob, and fresh veggies
-Dinner: leftover ribs and salad (tentatively, since it's only 3:15pm right now)
So far so good--even though it's only been 2 days. I'd really like to add running, but I'm having a hard time getting my butt in gear. I think I'm just going to have to force myself to hit the gym. I wish I had more determination, easier access to a Crossfit gym, and someone to do it with, but I guess for now I'll have to suck it up and work with my circumstances...
xoxo, M
Monday, February 21, 2011
In a Rut
I'm in a total rut. It's due to roughly 3 factors. In order to better understand what those factors are and how much of an impact they have, I've made the following pie chart. Do not be deceived...although pie usually makes people happy, this chart just makes me sad:
I have to get out of this rut. It's putting stress not just on me, but on H and our relationship in general. Who wants to be around the stressed out, unhappy girl? I don't blame him for feeling like this, but I refuse to let my stress that has nothing to do with our relationship cause stress for our relationship! So here's my "Get Out Of The Rut" Plan:
Step 1: Go to the gym every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday after work, no matter how tired or stressed I am. Even if it's just doing a few laps around the track and lifting the free weights, I'm going to the gym. It makes me feel better, it's good for me, and it's something fun that H and I can do together.
Step 2: Eat healthy again. You are what you eat. If I eat crap, I feel like crap. So no more crappy cafeteria lunches, no more fast food runs, and no more boxed mac n cheese, no matter how PMSie I feel.
Step 3: Get out of the house! I think sitting around the house is giving me cabin fever. I need to get out, even if it's just for walks around the block after dinner or going to the sorority house to visit friends for a little while. I can't be cooped up in here every day anymore--it's driving me crazy.
Step 4: Pray. We've gotten out of the habit of praying together before bed, and I think that it's reflecting in our relationship and in my mood. A lot of this stuff with work has caused me to question what exactly God's plan is and why He's put me here where I feel so abandoned, and admittedly I've stopped talking to God as much as I used to. I'm not losing my faith by any means, but I feel distant from Him and I don't like it. I want to put Him back at the center of my faith and my relationship with H again, where He belongs.
Plan starts immediately. I can't take one more minute of feeling like this. I'm tired of crying and wondering what's going on and why I feel this way. I'm tired of seeing H become stressed out because of my own mood and stress. And I refuse to let any more of this stress continue to keep H and I in a rut. So it starts now.
Nothing can steal my joy if I won't let it, and from now on I won't let it.
I have to get out of this rut. It's putting stress not just on me, but on H and our relationship in general. Who wants to be around the stressed out, unhappy girl? I don't blame him for feeling like this, but I refuse to let my stress that has nothing to do with our relationship cause stress for our relationship! So here's my "Get Out Of The Rut" Plan:
Step 1: Go to the gym every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday after work, no matter how tired or stressed I am. Even if it's just doing a few laps around the track and lifting the free weights, I'm going to the gym. It makes me feel better, it's good for me, and it's something fun that H and I can do together.
Step 2: Eat healthy again. You are what you eat. If I eat crap, I feel like crap. So no more crappy cafeteria lunches, no more fast food runs, and no more boxed mac n cheese, no matter how PMSie I feel.
Step 3: Get out of the house! I think sitting around the house is giving me cabin fever. I need to get out, even if it's just for walks around the block after dinner or going to the sorority house to visit friends for a little while. I can't be cooped up in here every day anymore--it's driving me crazy.
Step 4: Pray. We've gotten out of the habit of praying together before bed, and I think that it's reflecting in our relationship and in my mood. A lot of this stuff with work has caused me to question what exactly God's plan is and why He's put me here where I feel so abandoned, and admittedly I've stopped talking to God as much as I used to. I'm not losing my faith by any means, but I feel distant from Him and I don't like it. I want to put Him back at the center of my faith and my relationship with H again, where He belongs.
Plan starts immediately. I can't take one more minute of feeling like this. I'm tired of crying and wondering what's going on and why I feel this way. I'm tired of seeing H become stressed out because of my own mood and stress. And I refuse to let any more of this stress continue to keep H and I in a rut. So it starts now.
Nothing can steal my joy if I won't let it, and from now on I won't let it.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
And it begins
This will be a short post because I'm exhausted from today and because I still need to get my stuff together for going back to work tomorrow, but I wanted to record my first day of working out.
My legs feel like mush and standing up/sitting down (the process of) and using the stairs are my worst enemies right now! But I'm feeling confident and I refuse to give up just because day 1 was hard. It was hard, and exhausting, and my body hates me right now, but when I can fit into that size 8 dress at the end of the year then it will ALL be worth it! Just got to keep going and not give up.
I can do this!
My legs feel like mush and standing up/sitting down (the process of) and using the stairs are my worst enemies right now! But I'm feeling confident and I refuse to give up just because day 1 was hard. It was hard, and exhausting, and my body hates me right now, but when I can fit into that size 8 dress at the end of the year then it will ALL be worth it! Just got to keep going and not give up.
I can do this!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Promises to Myself
This year, I'm going to try making promises to myself instead of resolutions. I hope that maybe I'll be less likely to break a promise to myself, and therefore maybe I'll actually follow through with them for an entire year!
I promise to work on improving my credit card score and being more financially stable by working on getting out of credit card debt.
I promise to treat my body better by working out and losing the 50 pounds that I've gained over the past 3 years, and to improve my self-confidence.
I promise to expand my boundaries by trying at least 1 thing every month that I've always wanted but have been afraid of trying (either a food I've been skeptical about, an activity that I'm scared of, or even an art class or something where I would normally be overly self-conscious).
I'm starting on the first one next month by starting to make double the minimum payment on my credit cards. I hate that I've got 2 credit cards (okay, one is canceled so I can't use it anymore and the other one is an AE card with a $150 limit so it's not like I'm shopping with them or anything) and that they've put me in debt, so I'm going to start trying very hard to get out of that.
Tomorrow I start my new membership at the Community Center and H and I are going to work out. I've also got a Fit Coach from WomensHealthMag.com that has set up an exercise and eating plan for me and I can't wait to start getting back in shape! I honestly feel so excited and ready to start all of this, and I am really looking forward to being able to wear my cute clothes again and feel confident about my body!
I haven't figured out what new thing to try this month yet, but I'm working on it. Last night I tried my hand at making sushi for the first time, but that wasn't really a "new" experience--H likes to make it, and we love to eat sushi so it wasn't totally new. Maybe I'll take a fitness class at the community center--normally I wouldn't because I'm too self-conscious that other people are judging me while I try to go through the class, but I think maybe that would be good for me. Get me out of my comfort zone while at the same time working on getting back in shape. Hmmm...
Hope that everyone had a great and safe New Year's Eve and that God blesses your 2011!
I promise to work on improving my credit card score and being more financially stable by working on getting out of credit card debt.
I promise to treat my body better by working out and losing the 50 pounds that I've gained over the past 3 years, and to improve my self-confidence.
I promise to expand my boundaries by trying at least 1 thing every month that I've always wanted but have been afraid of trying (either a food I've been skeptical about, an activity that I'm scared of, or even an art class or something where I would normally be overly self-conscious).
I'm starting on the first one next month by starting to make double the minimum payment on my credit cards. I hate that I've got 2 credit cards (okay, one is canceled so I can't use it anymore and the other one is an AE card with a $150 limit so it's not like I'm shopping with them or anything) and that they've put me in debt, so I'm going to start trying very hard to get out of that.
Tomorrow I start my new membership at the Community Center and H and I are going to work out. I've also got a Fit Coach from WomensHealthMag.com that has set up an exercise and eating plan for me and I can't wait to start getting back in shape! I honestly feel so excited and ready to start all of this, and I am really looking forward to being able to wear my cute clothes again and feel confident about my body!
I haven't figured out what new thing to try this month yet, but I'm working on it. Last night I tried my hand at making sushi for the first time, but that wasn't really a "new" experience--H likes to make it, and we love to eat sushi so it wasn't totally new. Maybe I'll take a fitness class at the community center--normally I wouldn't because I'm too self-conscious that other people are judging me while I try to go through the class, but I think maybe that would be good for me. Get me out of my comfort zone while at the same time working on getting back in shape. Hmmm...
Hope that everyone had a great and safe New Year's Eve and that God blesses your 2011!
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