Updates and Eye Twitches

Wow.  It's been over a month since I've blogged.  I feel almost as bad as I do when I go too long without going to the gym!  Funny how something silly and little like blogging, that's only meant to be cathartic, can become such a powerful force in your life.

I'll be honest and admit why I haven't blogged recently.  It's because I've been avoiding my feelings.  I've always been a journaler.  Yes, I made that word up.  But it's true; infact, I still have the journal that I kept when I was in 5th grade.  I love to write and to get my feelings down on paper (or in this case, on a screen), because it helps me work through my thoughts.  Lately, though, all of my thoughts and feelings are surrounding the fact that H leaves for Basic Training in one month.

I don't want to think about it.  I don't want to deal with the fact that in one month I have to kiss my husband goodbye, hug him for the last time until July.  I don't want to accept that I won't be able to talk to him every day, to cuddle up with him when it's been a rough one.  I want to pretend that he'll still be here.  So rather than think/talk/write about it, I push it to the back of my mind.  Doing this has caused a semi-permanent eye twitch, but I'd much rather deal with that than the reality of my husband leaving right now.  So instead of blogging, I pretend it's not happening, which means right now I have very little to blog about.

Life in general is good.  God has blessed us with a lot so far this year, including a full-time job for me at the Montessori School, H hitting his goal weight for his contract, and getting to spend a lot of quality time with our friends and family before he leaves.  Financially, it's been a good year so far, too, with our big tax refund blessing on its way.  Our families are doing well, our friends are doing well, and we are doing well, so the only feelings that I've had to work through are the ones that I'm pretending aren't there.  I know it's coming to a breaking point with those, however, and I'm waiting for that moment when I can't hold it back any longer and everything comes out (like emotional vomit) onto this blog.  Although maybe that's a post I'll write in my paper journal (yes, I do still keep one of those, as well!) because I have a feeling it will be more personal than I choose to share here.  Of course, there will still be a blog update, just maybe not as graphic as the one in my paper journal.

I know that as things get closer to his leaving, and as things get busier around here with the end of the school year (gosh, it seems so early to think about that already!) and with getting ready to move back to my parents' house, the postings here will become more frequent.  Also, I'll be bringing back my crafting, too!  Right now, with working about 45 hours per week, it can sometimes be tough to fit in a really good project.  But once H leaves and I need things to occupy my time/mind, the projects will be making a spectacular comeback! :)

Bear with me.
It's about to get emotional around here...

xoxo, M

A Look Back

I can't believe it's almost New Years. It's insane to me--where did this year go? I feel like it was just a couple months ago that I was finishing the school year in Toledo, witnessing the birth of my nephew, and starting to plan our wedding. 2011 has been a crazy year for us full of ups and downs, and in the end we are coming out of it on top and in a much better place than where we started it. God has blessed us abundantly this past year, and I'm praying that those blessings keep coming as we move into next year.

2012 is about to be a CRAZY year for us! With H leaving in March for basic training and beginning his military career, I have to learn early on in 2012 how to handle being by myself and not being able to see/talk to him every day. In June, I finish up an amazing year at the Montessori school (I am ridiculously sad to think about not being there next year, because it is probably the most incredible school/environment I've ever been in) and move back in with my parents on the other side of the state, where I will be for about 5 months until I get PCS orders to move to H's base. In October/November when I get those orders, I will be picking up my entire life and moving out of Ohio for the first time in my life--away from everything I know to start my new life as an Army wife. We'll finish out next year with out wedding ceremony/celebration and reception over the holidays, so at least we can guarantee we'll be coming back home for the holidays. And in between all of these big adventures, there will be a million little adventures that pop up through the year to keep me busy---none of this even includes all of the adventures and excitement that H will experience on his new Army journey! How do I even prepare myself for the crazy year we're about to have?

I'm praying and trusting God to get us through the separations and the hard times, to shower us with blessings, and to give us a million reasons to celebrate this coming year! I know He's got big plans for us, and I can't wait to see where He leads us next :)

On a side note, happy 11 month birthday to my nephew!  I can't believe it's been almost a year since I was there to see your birth and hold your tiny little body in my arms!  Your uncle and I love you so much!!

I hope you have a chance to sit down in the next couple weeks and really take a good look at what God has blessed you with this past year, and to allow Him the opportunity to take charge of your life's path in 2012.  But before we head into the New Year, let's enjoy Christmas surrounded by those we love!!  :)  Goodness I love the holidays so much!

xoxo, Melissa