When I was little, I can remember my Grammy sitting me on her lap and singing a song about friendship to me. She would smile as she sang, and it always made me feel so secure that the message of the song was true to life:
Make new friends
But keep the old;
One is silver
And the other, gold.
I always thought the words of the song were more about knowing that just because I meet new people doesn't mean that I should throw old friendships away. But as I grow older, I realize that maybe this isn't the the actual purpose of the song; maybe it's more about the quality of friendships, both old and new.
For 26 years, I lived within a 150-mile radius of my hometown. And for the first 21 of those years, I lived at my parents' house in my hometown. Same family, same friends, same scenery for 21 years. Yes, within those years friendships changed; the girl who was my best friend in kindergarten was not necessarily my best friend come senior year. But the girl who was my best friend all the way through elementary school and middle school was still a dear friend to me by the time graduation rolled around (probably based on our deep-rooted love of Barbies, Lisa Frank stickers, and boys who played the drums). Once I went away to college, I made new friends but still kept in touch (and to an extent, still continue to) with many of my closest friends from high school.
They say that the friends you make in college are the friends who stick around for life. I hope that's true. My sorority sisters, my classmates through my undergrad program - those are the ones that I hope stick around for the long haul. They know me, not as the little girl who played on the swingset and constantly changed my mind between loving Spice Girls or Mariah Carey more, but as the woman who took on leadership roles, who has a passion for teaching, and who gets a little silly when cranberry-vodka's are involved.
Two years ago, we moved 450 miles away from our hometowns and 600 miles away from the college town we'd called home for 6 years. No college friends, no high school friends. No one that I knew at all. And so the adventure of making new friends began while somehow trying to balance keeping the old from so far away.
Unfortunately, as I'm finding, making new friends who are as good as the silver from the song is tougher than expected. Being an Army wife, I find that the circles of people that I'm associating with are typically the wives of H's soldier buddies. They aren't necessarily people that I "click" with as easily or automatically as I would outside of the "forced" friendships that the Army lifestyle sets up, but that doesn't make them bad people or bad friendships. They are the silver the song speaks of, friendships that are good to have even if they aren't the same depth or strength as those gold ones created during high school and college. (Disclaimer: I have made some absolutely "golden" friendships up here, as well, and I don't want any of this post to make those wonderful ladies feel anything less than the gold that they are. They know who they are, especially my #2)
Without these silver friendships, the ones that are important but aren't necessarily the long-lasting ones that will pass the test of time, would I be able to value the gold friendships as much?
The friendships that started when we were just infants, grown through the deep and lasting golden friendships of our parents.
The friendships of those started in middle and high school, who I know care despite the fact that we may only chat once every few months.
The friendships of my sorority sisters, who know me better than most people, and who appreciates a random text message knowing exactly what I need, even if all it says "if you're a bird..."
The friendships made in college thanks to mutual friends, who normally may not have started for one reason or another, but who I cherish more than anything because of how they have grown and deepened thanks to God, shared life experiences, and/or the military lifestyle.
Those are the golden friendships, the ones who have depth and meaning that I can appreciate so much more thanks to the silver friendships. And the silver friendships I can appreciate and cherish because those are the friendships that are current and what I need right now, and have the potential to turn into golden friendships as our lives mature and change.
Is one better than the other? I wouldn't say "better" but from my experiences the golden friendships tend to have more meaning at this stage of my life; however, both the gold and silver, new and old friendships are equally important to me, and each friendship individually has its own meaning and importance in my life.
To my golden friendships, I could never fully put into words what your friendship and impact in my life has been and continues to mean to me. I cherish our friendship, even if it's just a text or chat message once in a while to check in, a "thinking of you" card in the mail, or a coffee date over the phone. You mean the world to me, and I hope that our friendships continue to last a lifetime!
And to my silver friendships, I am so thankful for God bringing you into my life recently. Your friendship means so much to me, even if it's not as old or as time-tested as the golden friendships from earlier in my life, and I love the memories we've made and continue to make together. Even something as simple as coffee on the porch, a day at the beach, or girls night with munchies and movies means so much to me to know that I have you as part of my "Army family" away from home.
Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts
Monday, July 7, 2014
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Momma's Day :)
It's that special Sunday where everyone remembers why they love the one woman who as loved them from the start - their mom. I'm blessed to have a lot of really strong women in my life who have helped raise and influence me, so today I'll be taking time to talk about each one of them.
Being that it's Mother's Day, I'll start with my mom (of course!) and all the amazingness that she is. The amount of patience this woman has is unfathomable considering all she's put up with between me and my sister over the years. She's been the foundation that I've built my life upon and when I look at where I am in life, I know I wouldn't be where I am or who I am without her. She taught me so much over the years: the importance of God in my life and always coming back to Him; how to properly plant a garden that actually looks good and lasts the summer; that sometimes you shouldn't try to dig up big bushes in the backyard if there's a chance a stick might stab you in the eye; how to cook a delicious meal using family recipes passed down through generations; that overdrawing your bank account not only causes financial problems but that it makes your mom REALLY mad; that even though she's REALLY mad forgiveness is still a part of loving someone; and that being a genuine, loving, compassionate person is more important that having every material item in the world. She's my best friend who has been there for me when I've been overcome by sadness or needed to share something exciting in my life, she's been a role model for holding a marriage together, grounding yourself in God's love and truths, and having a heart for service to others. I attribute my character, sense of humor, frizzy hair, and love of academics all to her, and I am so thankful to have her as my Momma.
Who taught my mom all this amazingness that she could pass on to me and my sister? Why, her mother, of course. My Grammy was an amazing woman, a true saint in her own right. To this day, she is one of the strongest Christian women I have ever known, and was the true matriarch of our family. She made birthday cakes for Jesus every Christmas, and kept oatmeal cookies on the kitchen counter at all times. She could make you feel like the most important person in the world with her love and kind words, but wasn't afraid to put you in your place if you got out of line (and trust me, that wasn't something you wanted to hear from her!). She spent her Sunday's watching NASCAR and TBN church services with her shotgun by her side, ready to take out any groundhog trying to dig holes in her yard. She was the woman I called when I was home sick from school just to hear her tell me to drink water and eat crackers in my jammies till I felt better, the woman I ate pie and drank coffee with on Saturday afternoons when I had breaks and was home from college. She yelled at me for getting a tattoo, then told me how cute the black ink butterfly on my shoulder actually was. There isn't a day that goes by, even seven years later, that I don't think about her or see her influence somewhere in my life. I know she's up in Heaven fussing over whether or not the angels have planted the spring flowers in the right spots of God's garden :)
I've been fortunate enough to have a few "adopted moms" growing up, too. Joni and Kim, mothers to my best friends since we were just babies, have been there for me for the past 27 years. From help planning secret parties for my parents, advice on everything from school to boys, even just keeping me in line when my own mom wasn't there and I felt like I could probably get away with something (so optimistic on my part, and yet so wrong haha!). They both saw me as their own child, and made sure that if I needed something they would try their best to take care of me. I'm beyond thankful for their influence, love, and guidance growing up and for seeing me as their own daughter.
I can't help but look at today with some optimism and butterflies in my tummy that maybe just maybe this will be my last mother's day without being a mommy. One thing I know for sure is that I have had a lot of "lessons" over the years of what a good mother/mother figure should be thanks to my incredible mom and all the other amazing mother figures in my life. If I can be even half the mother that these woman have added up to be, I know my child will be blessed beyond belief and will (hopefully) grow up with good character, strong faith, and a compassion for helping others.
Happy Mother's Day to all my friends who are mommies, mommies-to-be, have been an "adopted" mommy to another child, a role model, a teacher, or who have had any kind of positive influence on a child around them. You have no idea how loved you truly are!
-M
Being that it's Mother's Day, I'll start with my mom (of course!) and all the amazingness that she is. The amount of patience this woman has is unfathomable considering all she's put up with between me and my sister over the years. She's been the foundation that I've built my life upon and when I look at where I am in life, I know I wouldn't be where I am or who I am without her. She taught me so much over the years: the importance of God in my life and always coming back to Him; how to properly plant a garden that actually looks good and lasts the summer; that sometimes you shouldn't try to dig up big bushes in the backyard if there's a chance a stick might stab you in the eye; how to cook a delicious meal using family recipes passed down through generations; that overdrawing your bank account not only causes financial problems but that it makes your mom REALLY mad; that even though she's REALLY mad forgiveness is still a part of loving someone; and that being a genuine, loving, compassionate person is more important that having every material item in the world. She's my best friend who has been there for me when I've been overcome by sadness or needed to share something exciting in my life, she's been a role model for holding a marriage together, grounding yourself in God's love and truths, and having a heart for service to others. I attribute my character, sense of humor, frizzy hair, and love of academics all to her, and I am so thankful to have her as my Momma.
Who taught my mom all this amazingness that she could pass on to me and my sister? Why, her mother, of course. My Grammy was an amazing woman, a true saint in her own right. To this day, she is one of the strongest Christian women I have ever known, and was the true matriarch of our family. She made birthday cakes for Jesus every Christmas, and kept oatmeal cookies on the kitchen counter at all times. She could make you feel like the most important person in the world with her love and kind words, but wasn't afraid to put you in your place if you got out of line (and trust me, that wasn't something you wanted to hear from her!). She spent her Sunday's watching NASCAR and TBN church services with her shotgun by her side, ready to take out any groundhog trying to dig holes in her yard. She was the woman I called when I was home sick from school just to hear her tell me to drink water and eat crackers in my jammies till I felt better, the woman I ate pie and drank coffee with on Saturday afternoons when I had breaks and was home from college. She yelled at me for getting a tattoo, then told me how cute the black ink butterfly on my shoulder actually was. There isn't a day that goes by, even seven years later, that I don't think about her or see her influence somewhere in my life. I know she's up in Heaven fussing over whether or not the angels have planted the spring flowers in the right spots of God's garden :)
I've been fortunate enough to have a few "adopted moms" growing up, too. Joni and Kim, mothers to my best friends since we were just babies, have been there for me for the past 27 years. From help planning secret parties for my parents, advice on everything from school to boys, even just keeping me in line when my own mom wasn't there and I felt like I could probably get away with something (so optimistic on my part, and yet so wrong haha!). They both saw me as their own child, and made sure that if I needed something they would try their best to take care of me. I'm beyond thankful for their influence, love, and guidance growing up and for seeing me as their own daughter.
I can't help but look at today with some optimism and butterflies in my tummy that maybe just maybe this will be my last mother's day without being a mommy. One thing I know for sure is that I have had a lot of "lessons" over the years of what a good mother/mother figure should be thanks to my incredible mom and all the other amazing mother figures in my life. If I can be even half the mother that these woman have added up to be, I know my child will be blessed beyond belief and will (hopefully) grow up with good character, strong faith, and a compassion for helping others.
 |
| My momma and me through the years! |
Happy Mother's Day to all my friends who are mommies, mommies-to-be, have been an "adopted" mommy to another child, a role model, a teacher, or who have had any kind of positive influence on a child around them. You have no idea how loved you truly are!
-M
Monday, November 15, 2010
Is this what being an adult is supposed to feel like?
I honestly feel like I'm living for the weekend/summer. Most days, I don't look forward to work. In fact, I feel like work is just a thorn in my life right now, which is something that I'm not used to. I've disliked jobs in the past, but I've never had a teaching job that makes me really feel this way. It's not because I hate teaching, it's because I'm discontent with the structure of the type of school I'm teaching at. It's not at all what I had dreamed of, and I feel like maybe the charter-school setting just isn't for me. I like the structure of a traditonal school setting: after school programs, sports, music and art programs, set discipline procedures, Friday night football games where I watch my students perform, and so much more. Trust me, this has absolutely nothing to do with my current students, the staff, the curriculum, or anything else--I just feel like maybe the charter-school setting isn't for me at this point in my life.
On the bright side, I'm learning a lot about teaching and curriculum, which are things that I will be able to take with me through the rest of my career. And while this isn't my ideal first-year teaching experience, it's definitely not the worst it could be. Just praying for God to keep leading me through this and keep me focused on the positive aspects of it all.
And thank goodness for my family and H, who absolutely support me through all of the hardships, even when all I want to do/can do is cry! Seriously don't think I could do this all without them!
So maybe this isn't exactly what being an adult is supposed to feel like... but maybe it's feeling like this and learning from it that is what being an adult is all about.
On the bright side, I'm learning a lot about teaching and curriculum, which are things that I will be able to take with me through the rest of my career. And while this isn't my ideal first-year teaching experience, it's definitely not the worst it could be. Just praying for God to keep leading me through this and keep me focused on the positive aspects of it all.
And thank goodness for my family and H, who absolutely support me through all of the hardships, even when all I want to do/can do is cry! Seriously don't think I could do this all without them!
So maybe this isn't exactly what being an adult is supposed to feel like... but maybe it's feeling like this and learning from it that is what being an adult is all about.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Grown ups?
I'm starting to realize that it's happening... I'm growing up and maturing. ::gasp:: I know, I never thought it would happen. But today I caught myself changing the radio station because I was tired of listening to random rap guys sing about sex and drop God's name every 5 words. Okay, so maybe that's not growing up, that's just my desire to live a more Godly life. I also realized this past weekend that I was excited to come home after doing some shopping and update my budget--seriously? Who does that? It's weird, because every once in a while I realize that I'm not the little girl who still is just going through life and waiting for everything to work itself out. I'm actually stepping into (and even embracing!) adulthood. And you know what? I don't hate it.
I feel like God is truly blessing me. I have a real salary job, a wonderful relationship that is heading towards the big M, an apartment with H, and I'm finally paying my own bills without overdrawing my account or letting bills go to collections. I feel like life has fallen into place, and it's such a wonderful feeling!
And for those of you who are worried about me being all mature and adulty: don't. Pastor Aaron Peternel taught me a very important lesson when I was a freshman in high school. "Being an adult in age doesn't mean you can't be a kid at heart." I will always have a kid-like mentality in my heart, and nothing can ever take that away! :)
I feel like God is truly blessing me. I have a real salary job, a wonderful relationship that is heading towards the big M, an apartment with H, and I'm finally paying my own bills without overdrawing my account or letting bills go to collections. I feel like life has fallen into place, and it's such a wonderful feeling!
And for those of you who are worried about me being all mature and adulty: don't. Pastor Aaron Peternel taught me a very important lesson when I was a freshman in high school. "Being an adult in age doesn't mean you can't be a kid at heart." I will always have a kid-like mentality in my heart, and nothing can ever take that away! :)
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