Where has the time gone?!

We've been in New York for 9 months? REALLY?

Where has the time gone?  Seriously.  It definitely doesn't feel like it's been that long.  Maybe 4 months at most.  But we've survived our first fall and winter in the North Country, H hit his one-year mark in the Army, and I've been teaching my preschoolers for eight months.  Okay, I guess it has been that long.  Wow that went by fast!

I know it seems crazy, but it feels like in the past 9 months there really haven't been that many interesting things going on to talk about.  To be honest, it's almost felt a little stagnant.  Not a bad stagnant, but definitely non-moving.  Like I'm treading water.

As much as I've loved teaching at the preschool, it's not where my heart truly is.  It's been almost 2 years since I've been in a high school classroom as a lead teacher, and I can feel myself losing a grip on the idea that I'll ever be back in one, especially here in New York.  Up here, it's almost a requirement to have your Master's degree to be a teacher, which has put a damper on my ability to get back into a classroom.  Thankfully, though, it looks like I'll be starting my Master's degree (back at good old BGSU!) program in August which will definitely help with the treading water feeling - almost like I'm finally starting to swim towards the far shore instead of just stay in place while I watch it like a dream.

I've also had to deal with homesickness more often than I anticipated.  It's not terrible, but it's enough that every couple months I just feel like I'm missing out on everything back home.  I've had to miss one very important wedding already this year, and there are at least 2 more that I can't attend.  As the weather gets warmer, I keep feeling like "oh this is a perfect day to go grill and hang out with Krista and Abbie"; but of course, they're 600+ miles away.  I'll find myself bored on a weeknight where H is in the field and all I want is to hang out with my sister and watch a movie.  It usually only lasts a few days, and I do have some good friends who are up here that have been wonderful, but nothing beats being back home with my family once in a while.

Okay, enough with the Debbie Downerness of this post.  While I've been dealing with the whole "treading water" and homesickness stuff, some amazing things have been happening!  Both of our close friend couples up here have had babies in the past couple months! It's so wonderful to watch our friends' families expand and grow, and it's been an encouragement for us to try to start our own family.  We are trusting God's hand in all of this and know that His timing is perfect timing, but we're hoping that sometime this summer we'll get some good news about our family doing some of it's own growing and expanding!

Sharlot and I on Valentine's Day - one of my best friends up here!

H passed the one-year mark for being in the Army back in March, and it's been a very interesting year for him.  The unit that he originally got placed in has deployed, although he did not go with them.  His particular company was kept behind on Rear Detachment (rear-d), and he's been temporarily moved from his original unit/company (an all-infantry unit) to a new unit/troop (a cavalry unit).  While at first he wasn't excited about moving around like this, it's actually been a HUGE blessing in disguise.  He's been able to move to a unit that is much better in terms of professionalism and training, and it's opened a lot of doors for him in terms of taking on leadership roles, going to training schools, and being taken seriously as a career soldier.  He'll have the opportunity to go to the Soldier of the Month Board in a few weeks, which means he can (hopefully!) rank up sooner than anticipated.  He's been able to prove himself a lot to his temporary commanding officers, even so much as to have them telling him that when his original unit returns from deployment, they want him to fill out paperwork to be permanently moved to their cavalry unit.  He's really excited about that prospect, because in the cavalry unit he's got the ability to actually progress his career and get to where he wants to be a lot sooner.  Praise God!

We also got to go to our first Military ball this spring, which was fantastic!  

At the ball in March 2013

I've been able to start advertising and selling my cupcakes to friends up here, which has been amazing.  It's like a pipe dream of mine is finally starting to come through, thanks to the support of H and his love of seeing my dreams come to fruition.  It hasn't been anything crazy and big, but it's been enough to make me feel like I'm more than just a girl baking in her kitchen for free.  (Yes, I'm about to shamelessly plug by business...but it's my blog, so I can do what I want! haha) Check out Lovebites Cupcakes :)

Riley kitten has grown a lot, and is officially the queen of our house.  She's been so wonderful to have in our family, and it seems strange to think about our family before she was in it. 

Baby Riley Kitten - not so little anymore!

Okay, so I guess more has happened over the past 9 months than I'd realized.  God has truly been blessing us up here.  We've found a great church family where H gets to usher occasionally and I help with Sunday School. It finally feels like H's career is on-track and he'll have the chance to see some of his dreams come true.  I'm able to attend grad school (finally!) and will hopefully be in my own classroom within the next year and a half.  We've made great friends, gotten ourselves established and settled in up here, and are starting to work on growing our family.  God's got His hand on us and we are truly blessed!

My goal is to actually update more than just every few months from now on.  I know I've said it before, but with all the amazing things that are coming our way soon, I want to keep things updated more often.  In theory, we'll use the blog to track the progress of trying to conceive and our pregnancy so there will be lots of updates from that! :)  Hooray for blessings and change!

-M

Running in Circles

It's funny how sometimes God lets you run around trying to figure things out on your own, when in reality you're running in a circle and you'll end up right back exactly where God wanted you in the first place.

For instance, all of this nonsense about me worrying about what's going to happen with a job in the fall and where my life is headed. I started out a few months ago firmly following the statement of "Possessing the promises of God begins with the unshakable certainty that God will never forget what He has promised you." I love that quote because it reminds me of 2 things: 1) God has promised me an amazing future and plan for my life; and 2) that He won't forget about that promise IF I firmly believe that He will come through. I gotta hold up my end of the bargain, because why would God want to bless me with these amazing things He's promised me if I don't have faith that He will?

Well, I haven't really been keeping up my end of the bargain lately. Unshakable certainty has been more like luke-warm hope, and that's not what He's asking for. He's asking me to have undeniable faith in His word and promise to me (Oh hey there Blind Faith...we meet again) and I've really been struggling with it. I've got family and friends constantly telling me to have faith and pray because God will come through, but it's going in one ear and out the other. Until yesterday. At my mom's church, a woman who I have never met before or talked to came up to me after the service and introduced herself. She said "I know we've never met, and I don't even know your name, but God has been talking to my heart all through this service and he wants me to tell you something. God has an amazing plan for your life, and he wants you to remember that." My jaw could have hit the floor. How did this woman, who I have never even seen at this church before (although I haven't really been there since I was home for Easter...so she could be new) know that I needed to hear that exact message? It's got to be God, without a doubt.

It just meant a lot more coming from this woman who I didn't know. I know my friends and family are always going to say things like "have hope!" and "keep praying, it'll happen!" because they support me and that's what they do (not that there is anything wrong with that, but after a while you start to wonder what's genuine and what's said out of obligation or to make you feel better) but this woman had nothing to gain from saying this to me. And because there was no motivation beyond "God wants me to tell you this," I felt like it meant so much more (sorry to my friends and family who read this; I hope you can understand what I mean here-- I honestly do appreciate everything you say and do in support of me!) to hear it from this complete stranger, especially because if God has started to use other people who I don't even know to talk to me, His message is probably pretty important.

So once again, I was reminded of this promise from God. And as I'm driving to Parma last night to visit H, I have my usual "long car ride talk with God" (I like the privacy of talking to God in my car-- we have some great conversations on long car rides). And He gave me the revelation that I need to just have that blind faith, that unshakable certainty that He hasn't forgotten what He has promised me and that He's working on His plan for my life if I would just trust Him and let Him do it in His own time. He doesn't want me to sit and worry and doubt and question, He wants me to just believe without doubt that He is taking care of me. Which is what I was trying to do just a few months ago.

I totally came full circle on this one after running around like a chicken with my head cut off, all thanks to a stranger at church who God used to talk to me.

So. Now I'm just going to do my best not to worry or doubt, because God really is going to take care of me and open the next door of my life and my future. And all I had to do was run in circles for a while while I waited for God to show me this.

Totally worth the exercise. :)

Opening Doors

So for the past 3 months I have been attending Dayspring Assembly of God, and I absolutely love it! This church and the pastoral staff there are so spirit-filled, and I know that this is the church that God has called me to. I feel so connected to God's presence when I am there, and I can't wait to come back to BG in the fall so I can continue attending church there. Unfortunately, until today, I haven't really felt connected to anyone there. It's not because of the church, but because I tend to get shy (I know, right?! Me shy? But when I'm alone in a new situation I can be really shy.) and I don't go out of my way to meet new people at church. I've been praying a lot about finding a church family there and maybe getting involved in a ministry there, and today I had the opportunity to do both!

Today after the 11am service, they did something called "Pizza with the Pastors" where they provided lunch for new families of the church and you had a chance to meet all of the pastors and fellowship together. I almost didn't go, because I would be going alone and I felt out of place, but I went anyway and I'm so glad I did! I met Pastor Dave Thompson and his wife at lunch today, and they asked me to sit with them so I wasn't sitting alone. Dave is the youth pastor at Dayspring, and he and Kati were so nice to me! They were surprised to hear that I grew up at Ravenna Assembly of God, and it turns out that they are good friends with Cornell and Kristen (my high school youth pastor and his wife) and we got along really well! They introduced me to Lisa, who is a director of creative arts and drama, who was really excited to hear about my background in theater and asked me to potentially get involved in that ministry in the fall when I move back. Pastor Dave also mentioned something about possibly getting involved in the youth ministry as a youth leader in the fall, and Kati took down my contact info to pass along to the girl who leads the young-adult/college ministries. I feel like I'm finally starting to find a church family and way to get involved in a church ministry! Maybe this is God's way for me to lead and do something life changing for Him! I feel so good about this! But now I'm really sad that I have to leave the church for the summer in just 5 short weeks! More excitement for me to come back to in the fall, though! :) Just one more door that God has opened for me!

And the job hunt continues, as well. I put in an application at Sylvan Learning Center back home in hopes that I can get a summer job there--just something to pay the bills this summer, hopefully. Also, I've got job fair coming up after Easter (April 13) and I have 6 interviews lined up there, plus the application I've put in for Ottowa Hills and Fostoria. Hopefully SOMETHING will come out of this!! I want so badly to find a job for the fall, specifically in Northwest Ohio, because I want to stay close to H and because this is where I feel like I'm being drawn to set up shop permanently. I'm just going to trust God to know the desires of my heart on this one and make it work for me! Today at church, Pastor Scott said that we can't receive God's gifts if we don't ask, so at the alter call today I went up and had one of the prayer team members pray for a job for me. I feel completely anointed by God and know that He will lead me to the perfect teaching placement. I also know that because I'm committed to following His word and delighting myself in Him, He will give me the desires of my heart-- which happen to be staying in this area to teach, preferably at Fostoria. Just gotta keep praying and putting my applications out there!

Home for Easter in 5 more sleeps--- looking forward to a chance to go home and spend some time with the family. :) And, as usual, things with H are going so well!! We had our first date Friday night, and it was fantastic. I have missed just spending time with him, especially because he is my best friend. It feels so good to just talk and joke and reconnect with him, and I am thanking God every single day for bringing him back into my life. It feels so good to be that giggly silly girl who is crazy in love again!!

Life is good, and God is opening so many doors for me, and I'm so excited to see what He has behind each one!

First Steps

Last night at church, Pastor Scott challenged us to be radical; to find out what God is calling us to do that will bring others to Him. Now, I've always known I was meant to work with teenagers. Originally, I thought maybe I was being called to be a youth pastor, but God's path lead me into teaching instead. I have had some amazing opportunities over the past year of teaching high school to work with teenagers, mostly inner-city or low socio-economic status, and represent God to them in that way. But after a lot of prayer last night and today, I feel that God is challenging me to do more---to become the change that we need to see in schools today and to represent Him through it all.

I will be using this blog to chronicle how I will "become the change."

First, though, a little background:
I am a December 2009 graduate of Bowling Green State University with a Bachelor's degree in Adolescent/Young-Adult Education, specializing in Integrated Language Arts--basically, I'm licensed in the state of Ohio to teach 7th through 12th grade language arts. During my student teaching, I had the opportunity to participate in something called "Challenge Day" (see Challenge Day's website) which is a program put on at high school's throughout the nation challenging kids to become the change in their school. Their vision and mission statements are:

Our vision is that every child lives in a world where they feel safe, loved and celebrated. The Challenge Day mission is to provide youth and their communities with experiential programs that demonstrate the possibility of love and connection through the celebration of diversity, truth, and full expression.

As a teacher, I got to participate in the capacity of an adult leader during the 1-day program at Fostoria High School. It was incredible! I can not even begin to put into words how amazing this experience was! I saw kids who would never associate with one another work on breaking down barriers; I talked to kids that I thought had it all together and found out that there is so much more going on in their lives behind their smiles; I saw kids realize that they have more in common with one another than they thought and connect on a level that they never would have gotten to if they had not been in the Challenge Day program setting. It was one of the most incredibly emotional things that I have witnessed as a teacher, as kids experienced how to break down barriers, connect with one another, and become the change in the school that is so desperately needed. I realized immediately that this was something I wanted to be a part of on some level. What I am explaining here does not begin to do justice to the amazing ideas and practices that go on at Challenge Day, nor does it do justice to what this incredible program does every year across the country.

There are a lot of ways that I can get involved in Challenge Day. As a teacher, I can continue to act as an adult leader when Challenge Day comes to my school. There are workshops that I can attend about how to put into practice these principles and challenges for my students every day in my own classroom. I can volunteer to work at the offices in California (okay, that's a little far for me). But the capacity that I want to try is as a Challenge Day Leader. Every year, Challenge Day takes on new leaders who spend their year traveling across the country to different high schools presenting the Challenge Day program. Not only do they facilitate the program, but they commit to living out the Challenge Day principles in their lives on a daily basis, spreading the message of love for one another (hmm...also one of Christ's messages...).

They become the change to show others how to do the same.

I would love more than anything to become a Challenge Day leader and spread this message to high schools, showing God's love through my work with the program. I realize that maybe this is not the extreme that God has planned for me, and I totally accept that. So I'm going to keep praying, while at the same time begin to take the first steps towards becoming a leader. God may call me to a permanent teaching position or something else in the mean time, and if that is the case then He's got plans for be to be the change in that way and I will follow His path. In the meant time, I will continue to start to look into becoming a leader while also work constantly on becoming the change in my own community in Northwest Ohio.

Being a leader takes a lot. First of all, you need to attend as many local Challenge Days as possible. Then, there is attending one of the workshops. Finally, there is an application process to go through. Applications are accepted once a year, in early February. Since I have missed this past year's application deadline, and I have a lot a preparation to do like attending the workshop and the various Challenge Days in the area, so I will spend the year doing two things:
1. Becoming the change as much as I can in the area that I am at now, and doing what I can to become the change in my own community.
2. Attend a workshop and different Challenge Days

This blog is to keep me accountable to becoming the change in my community and being radical for God, and to record my journey towards either becoming a Challenge Day leader or whatever else God has in store for me.

I'm asking that you agree with me in prayer as I go on this journey, and that you follow my story to keep me strong with encouragement and love.